LoVEChrome
by ladyand
Summary: AU where soulmates are found through a process known as LoVEChrome. Mapped for almost a decade without finding her soulmate Blair's last hope was that her match was Chuck Bass. After Chuck's departure of from New York City years ago, he returns a changed man.Blair learns that he was mapped out prior shattering her dream. Yet the feelings she felt for him are stronger. Sum inside
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Alternate Universe in which people find their soulmates through a mapping process known as LoVEChrome. Mapped out for over nine years without finding her soulmate Blair's last hope was that her match was Chuck Bass. He promised her years ago he would never be mapped out so she believed there was always hope. But for the past nine Blair obsessed with falling in love rather than waiting for LoVEChrome to alert her she dates man after man only to find them leaving after they are matched with others. After Chuck's departure of from New York City nine years ago, he returns to help Nate and Serena celebrate this engagement a changed man. But Blair learns that he was mapped out prior shattering her teenaged dream that he was her soulmate. Yet the attraction and feelings she felt for him prior has only increased. Could our LoVEChrome be wrong? Why did we start using science to tell us who to love and when did we stop falling in love? Can we wait around for fate or should we go out in search for it?

Disclaimer: Do not own GG characters.

A.N: Different type of fic that I have ever done. I am going to try to keep the characters as true to their characters in the show but their lives are of course on very different paths here. Please review and let me know if there are any questions. I tried to flush everything out but I know it may be confusing so if there are things I did not answer about the mapping process (LoVEChrome) let me know.

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I heard in the past, looking for your soulmate could be seen as impractical or foolish. Everything is different now that LoVEChrome was created. Now everyone is waiting for the moment that they are told they found their soulmate. But I was here twenty-five, alone and tired of it. I wanted to find my true love just as much as anyone did but I just wanted to find him walking into a room or sharing a cab rather than be told. Yet it seemed like I was doomed to be alone. Some days I wondered if I already met my true love and he/she/they just never got the LoVEChrome mapping sequence done because they were not romantic or if they were already died. With a 100% guarantee of happiness after matched LoVEChrome was what everyone believed in.

Back when the human genome was mapped out researchers found in each DNA sequence what they have now called the LoVEChrome. It was determined that everyone had a LoVE Chromosome that paired with his or her soulmates. In the same way, that you can get your DNA mapped out you can pay to have your LoVEChrome 'discovered'. When it first began, you would go into a database until your mate was placed into the database. One call or email from LoVEChrome later and happy ever after.

Love in a test tube the protestors, free love movement, called it. They celebrated free love and I was one freaking birthday away from joining their cult. Well not really they do not deep condition. But my point being love was overtaken by commercial business. It felt like everyone just sat at home waiting for the call or email address at least where I was from. In the Upper East Side getting your LoVEChrome mapped out was a rite of passage at sixteen. It cost a fair bit of money and was still controversial in a large part of the world so most people did not get them until their early to mid twenties. Well that was what the website said. Most my friends, who are very wealthy, were already matched up and married. But here I was nine years later alone and lonely sitting in a bar in Upper East Side. It was pointless really, because anyone that was rich enough surely would have been mapped at this point. Sine there was no way in hell I was going to marry a poor Brooklyn or worse Midwestern. Well everyone but Chuck Bass I told myself. It was foolish but out of all the men in my life, he was not mapped out and I was hoping that he was my soulmate. Of course, I never spoke those words aloud and I have not seen him in like eight years but I still carried a flame for him. Newly single after a two and half year relationship I still wanted my first love. I was probably the only person in my generation who had a first and second love but I loved that I did. Those experiences were important for me and made me stronger and surer of my person. It was something I knew Serena and Nate would never have.

So I waited for Serena and Nate my two very engaged in love best friends. Serena was of course matched with Nate. At the time, Nate and I had just begun dating when Serena had her LoVEChrome mapped out in August on her birthday. I followed in November and then Nate on his birthday, April 5th. I was with Serena nervous about the mapping process while Nate was getting his. It goes without saying it was very weird when Serena got the call. It was the only time I heard a call from LoVEChrome and I have reoccurring dreams that I was receiving the call since. It was an automatic message alerting her that her match was located and to press one if she wanted to know the name. She did and boom her soulmate was Nate. I was left alone forever the third wheel. We were able to all be friends because I was not one to stand in front of true love and after a very classy Waldorf meltdown gave them my blessing. So I waited in the Palace Bar for my two best friends. I was on my second martini when they arrived very in love and obviously red in face from probably having sex. You would think after almost a decade it would get old but no but no, they are still going strong.

They apologized and I glared annoyed that they would leave me here alone then again I am not sure it was worse than being force to be the third wheel. If I could, I would plan their engagement party without them but alas, they wanted to pretend to have input even though they knew they were going to get vetoed. They never felt the rush to jump into a wedding since they were happy just being together but I think Anne and Lily finally wore Nate down until he proposed. Serena wanted to do it on a wedding and have everyone barefoot. I refused to attend if she did so the wedding will occur in the city.

"You table is ready or are we waiting for the last person to arrive?" the host asked us. I was surprised and looked at Serena in my questioning way.

"I didn't tell you that Chuck was joining us. My bad," she smiled and I knew she actually probably forgot but I was still annoyed. I told the bartender to make sure my drinks were coming to the table especially now that Bass was joining us. I wanted to hyperventilate or just hide in a hole. I knew Chuck was going to be the best man but I thought I was going to be better prepared to see him again.

Chuck was Nate's best friend in grade school, middle school, and for some of high school. In the junior year after too many stomach pumping, arrest, and underage everything illegal thing Bart Bass had enough and Chuck was sent to rehab and then military school. He last about four months before he ran away and was disinherited from the Bass family. It was scandalous and everyone was talking about it. I was concerned more for him while everyone seemed to care about the gossip. It was a few months spending all their time together that Chuck arrived back in New York City. He begged Bart to take him back but Bart refused and could not 'watch his son throw his life away'. I ran into him by accident, I was feeding the ducks when I saw him. He was dirty, skinny, but even in his dismal state he still had an aura about him that was Chuck. I think that was what I noticed first. We were friends for years and there was no way that I could leave him there. So I brought him home. He was so out it I do not think he even knew it was me. I bathed him and clothed him. My mother must have been away because I took off three days from school to watch over him as he came down from whatever high he was on. He came off it was very angry with me but I begged him not to go back to the way he was living. So he stood and he lived secretly in the spare bedroom for three months. Secretly until Cyrus found out. Cyrus and my mother were recently LoVEChrome paired up after my mother finally caved and was mapped after her divorce from my father. In her time, mapping was still new and experimental so she married my father without being mapped out. Cyrus said he would have continuing waiting his whole life for just one day with her. So Cyrus being the wonderful man he was helped Chuck gain access to some of his trust fund through a legal loophole.

Chuck was my best friend in those months. He knew all about my anger concerning Serena and Nate. We both complained about the LoVEChrome together. He turned sixteen the second week he was in my spare bedroom and he swore he was never going to be mapped. We made jokes and watched old movies where people fell in love the old-fashion way. I went on long rants about how one should fall in love the way Audrey did in Funny Face or my Fair Lady. Somehow, along the way he was my first, I think it was the only way he knew how to confront me. I like to think I brought him some confront. When summer came and he told me he was leaving, I was shocked and betrayed. I was angry with Cyrus for finding the loophole that gave him the money. He was going to see the world by backpacking around Europe. I never forgave him. He wrote me long emails for about six months telling me about his travels but I never responded. I ignored him. I had lost my friend and lover and I was feeling even more alone.

It was only in my freshman year of college did I finally respond to an email. He emailed me in October to tell me that he was in a spiritual journey in a Hindu monastery to find enlightenment and his true path. At first, I thought it was silly but it truly did help him. His guru was encouraging him to hind peace with his father and he wanted my opinion. He begged me to call him and I did. We spent hours on the phone and he apologized for leaving me the way he did but he wanted to thank me for saving his life. I encouraged him to speak to his father. Ultimately he did and Bart actually took months off to join his son in a path to renew their relationship. After their spiritual cleanse Chuck enrolled at Cambridge for his undergrad. He received two masters from Oxford and only returned to the city a week ago for Nate's engagement. Over the years, we had kept in touch only on Facebook. I have not seen him since he left my spare bedroom or spoken to him since that long conversation when he was in India. Nate and Chuck renewed contact after Chuck left India. When Nate spent his junior year aboard in England, they instantly became best friend again. Serena and Nate vacationed in Europe every year with him. I was nervous to see Chuck after all these years. There was something about him that was special to me maybe because of the time we spent together that was hidden from everyone. But I was nervous and unprepared for this. I held my breath when he walked into the room until he arrived at the table.

We stood to greet him. He hugged Serena and Nate and made his way over to me. As far as I knew Serena and Nate had no idea of our past so when Chuck came to greet me I am sure they were surprised when he grabbed me hugged me tight to him. He kissed the crown of my head as he laughed.

"Blair, you look even more delectable than I remember," he said as he pulled away from me and looked at me again. He laughed again as he pulled me into his arms again and I hugged him right back just as tight. It had been years but I felt good with him. His carefree smile was new for me, I have never seen him like this. It was infectious.

When we finally sat down, I was to two confused faces. "Why are you so happy to see each other?" Serena bluntly asked. I blushed and looked to Chuck to answer. Serena raised up in response to my glance and I looked at me with a fierce gaze. But this was Chuck's tale to tell. So bit my lip and looked to him again. He was smiling at me when he grabbed my hand.

"Seriously you ask how Blair is doing from time to time but I thought it was just politeness," Nate admitted.

Kissing my hands, he said, "She saved my life." He looked back to them, "Blair actually found me on the street or a bench in Central Park I cannot remember. I was high as a kite on smack I think and she nursed me back to health. She saved me. It would have been towards the end of your junior year I think. I left to travel after that and she was the one who encouraged me to speak to my father when I joined Guru Sathya. She guides me in my darkness. But we haven't seen each other in what nine years or spoken in six or seven years really," he said.

I smiled at the fact that he remembered how long it had been. "Yea. Chuck is making seem like I was saint. I was not when he left to travel. To be fair I was kind of treating him like a doll that I locked up in my room or something back then," I confessed and the looks on their faces were filled with sadness. "Sorry we never told you. But we just thought it would be best for Chuck at the time," I tried to explained.

"Seriously I was irritable and never wanted to hang out. I would just stay in the guest room and Blair would only release me for her sexual pleasure," the smirk on his face made it clear he was joking and I was happy that he still made sexual joke. He would not be the same without the sexual jokes.

"Still lecherous I see," I nudged his shoulder.

"Always Waldorf."

"Oh my god, you two would be perfect together. Chuck you never got mapped right?" Serena asked her happy self. She was always eager for me to find my soulmate. It was a question I asked myself for years and I was dying to know.

"No Chuck got tested way back when he was fifteen," Nate jumped in. "His dad thought it would help him straighten out his life if he knew he had a soulmate out there or something. He paid big bucks to go against the regulations but it was done, right man?" federal laws restricted mapping to those under the age of sixteen. Religious thought it would cause a rise in teen pregnancies or something.

Instantly my heart dropped to the ground. I looked at Chuck to see if he would deny it. But the uncomfortable look on his face told me all I needed to know. He was mapped out when he was fifteen, which meant that he lied to me. He lied to me when he told me he would never do it and when he listened to me complain about Serena. Suddenly all the secrets and conversation we shared felt like lies. Foolish lies he told a foolish girl. A part of me wanted to run away and cry. But it was not the first time my heart was broken over a lost love. In the nine years, since I have been mapped out four boyfriends were contacted with their true love match while we were together, and I even encourage a longtime boyfriend, Dan to get on the payment plan to be mapped. He did and we broke up the next day. So it was the first time I was heartbroken. I stood in my seat, faked a smile, and encouraged everyone to talk about the engagement party.

 _We were laying down in the spare bedroom cuddling close together sharing mint ice cream. It was only the first of Chuck's good days. His cravings for whatever he was addicted to were diminishing and his anger was lessening. On days with mild irritation, sugar helped his moods. I had just finished a rant about the LoVEChrome so I needed the sugar too._

" _You know you could join the free love movement. I could see it now. You will take control of the movement and organize them so fast that they might actually have political power," he joked as he twirled a piece of my hair. I was plastered to his side. One of his hands were wrapped under me and around my waist while the other played with my hair. I altered feeding myself the ice cream and then him._

" _That does not sound like a bad idea Bass," I chuckled._

" _But the moment you found your match you would go running to him," he teased as he playfully pulled on a hair._

" _No. I am over with the LoVEChrome. I want to fall in love with someone randomly. This whole thing ruins the whole point of falling in love. You know. I want to be sweep off my feet like in Roman Holiday. I just want the courting, the flowers, the dates, the getting to know you before I marry you thing. Forget being a science experiment," I went off on my rant. It felt good to confess that to someone. My cheeks redden as I realized that I confessed that to Chuck Bass of all people._

" _Courting?" he raised eyebrow in jest and I rolled my eyes. "I will join your movement Blair. You make a passionate argument. I will never get mapped," he told me._

" _Never?" I asked even though I thought he was mocking me._

" _It isn't worth it. I do not need to be told when to fall in love. I think I would know when I know," the volume in his voice dipped and had to look away from him. He was a guest in my house and I did not want to do something with him that would injure his recovery process._

 _Three days later on Chuck's sixteen birthday rather than be mapped he promised me again to never be mapped out. So instead that was the first night we had sex. He told me he wished to find his true love the way I described. He said he wanted to fall in love, the right way. Chuck Bass was a romantic, who knew._

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Right now I am going to keep this in Blair's POV and end each chapter with a flashback to those three months when Blair fall in love with Chuck. Keep in mind the only thing that is really AU about this fic the LoVEChrome process everything else is just like the 'real' world. Like Gossip Girl is still around but it is more of a gossip rag site that UESiiders are posted about on. The major change in this world is really just that soulmates are determined through genetic mapping. Yes, this is not possible but fun. Falling in love in a world where no one does anymore, whats more romantic then that? There are features of the LoVECHrome that have not been posted in this chapter that I will describe about in the next. But any questions would be appreciated as I flush out the idea thoroughly.

This will be a multi-fic about ten chapters.

Best. Please Review.


	2. Chapter 2

A.N: I really love writing this story. The concept is so fun. While there has not been a large response to the story I am extremely happy with it. I hope everyone who reads this story enjoys it as much I enjoy writing it.

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After not seeing Chuck for years, it only took a day for me to bump into him. Maybe he bumped into me. But bump we did. I was sitting at a bar once again sipping a martini rolling my neck out after a long day at work. I had spent the day running errands for Epperly annoyed that four years at Yale only left me here confused and wondering what step to go in my life. I excelled at high school, and college. The structure was my friend, and I was able to control all those around me. Now I was drifting with a literature and marketing degree. I was working in the style section of the magazine and even though I was supposed to be more of a lackey, it did not feel that different of my life only three ago. It felt like I was stuck in history repeating itself since W was where I met Dan the first time. Going back was just a reminder that I was incompatible with everyone I have ever met.

"Another martini?" the voice behind me asked and I knew the voice instantly. It was Chuck. I gritted my teeth annoyed with him still for his lie.

"I am good with this one," I told him I slowly turned the stool moving with me to come eye to eye with him. He was smirking at me and I titled my head keeping the glare on my face. "Not happy to see me?" he asked and his allure was stronger than ever.

"I could have gone another seven years or so," I hissed at him.

He made a tsking sound with his mouth as he took the seat right next to me. "Well I missed you. We used to have so much fun, kitten," he said. I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"Used to. It's been years. I am happy to see you but this is for Nate and Serena," I told him as I twirled drink in my hand before sipping it.

"I am supposed to be happy for them? I thought you did not believe in the LoVEChrome matches always end in fairytales," he asked.

I looked him straight in the eye when I told him. "I don't."

I am not sure when it was agreed upon that I would follow him up to his room. Maybe it was the second drink that I accepted from him or maybe it was the moment he sat down besides me. I could have been the moment that I stepped into the bar. I saw on the Gossip Girl Tracker he was here at the Palace Bar last night and I knew from Serena he was staying here. I told myself I really just wanted a good martini but I knew it was him I was searching for. It was the way he kissed me I wanted no I needed to know if it was the same as I had remembered it or had made my youth and inexperience trick into thinking it was greater than it was. It was even better than I remember it. Every kiss, touch, lick, bite, and stare was better than I remembered it. His touch was rough, knowing, demanding but at the same time sweet and caressing.

When woke up the next morning he was possessively holding me close to him in his sleep in our spooning position. I turned around slowly enjoying the feel of our skin rolling over each other. Face to face, I watched him as he sleep with a bitter taste in my mouth. I wanted him to be my love match so bad. I hoped against hope and reason that Bass would come into my life and magically be the love I so desperately needed and wanted in my life. I pretended that I did not believe in the love match system after so many broken hearts starting with Nate. The hopeless romantic in me wanted to believe that there could no way a science project could tell me how to feel. The control freak in me needed the certainty the match provided. I lightly touched his long eyelashes. They were so beautiful and long. He blinked and I pulled my hand away. When his eyes finally opened, he smiled at me lazily. I could not help but return it. It was a lazy morning spent tossing around having slow sweet sex. It was Saturday morning and finally it was around ten o'clock when we emerged from the shower together. He placed the robe around me telling me I was too nude for breakfast and too distracting. When we finally sat, down to eat it was only after an intense make out session and I felt sixteen again. As soon as we were done eating, we ended up having sex again on the bar and on the couch. I was the happiest I had been in years in those moments.

When we finally stopped, it was from soreness and lack of energy but the lust was still there and growing. We were naked lounging on a chaise sharing a glass of wine and a plate of cheese and fruit.

"You are as beautiful as I remember," he whispered as he nibbled on my ear.

"Why didn't you come back to New York sooner?" I asked him in a moment of weakness.

"Why didn't you ever visit me in Europe with Nate and Serena?" he quipped back.

I smiled but did not answer. I knew I was just afraid that if I ever saw him again I would not be like this. As the distance and time grew, I thought that the memory was going to be sweeter than my reality. This, this new reality was sweeter and so much more exciting. I was falling once more for Chuck Bass but this time it was the man not the boy. We talked about things that I had not thought about for years and I found myself opening up to him more than any other relationship that I ever been in.

On Tuesday, I was annoyed and angry with my boss Epperly and my anger spewed into our pillow talk. We were both sweaty and I knew I was half-asleep when he asked me what happened to my dream of law school.

"I shadowed Cyrus my sophomore year and I hated it," I confessed. We were both lying on our stands resting on our elbows. His smirk was on display. I always felt comfortable with him around me.

"Too many type-A personalities for you," he teased as he pushed a loose hair behind my ear.

"Maybe. I don't know. High school and college were easily I knew where the hierarchies were and I knew how to get to the top of them. This the real world is hard. I don't know what pyramid I want to be on top of," I tried to explain. He knew what it was like to not belong. He was kicked out of his own life. His inheritance was taken from him and he rebuilt his life and relationship with his father.

"You a force to be reckon with Waldorf. Whatever you do I know it will have a lasting impact on the world," he wrapped his leg around mine pulling me closer to him. I was too tired for a second round and I was going to tell him that but when I looked at him, his eyes were closed. I tucked myself in under his chin and I felt him kiss the top of my head. The past four days we passed out from exhaustion and eventually ended up intertwined in the night. Tonight was the first day he held me like this while we were still awake. I was enjoying the moment.

For that week, we existed in simple bliss expensive dinners, drinks, and sex. It glorious and I was on cloud nine but there was a bug annoying me. The fact that Chuck had been mapped and out there, we both had soulmates. Believers in LoVEChrome would say that we were ruining our lives and eventually our soulmates if we stay together. Serena was a believer. The biggest believer that I knew. She hated the random dating that I did but eventually thought it was okay that Dan and I dated hoping that we would match. When I pressured Dan to be mapped out she was beyond hopeful that he could have been my soulmate but alas, he was not. So for all my anti-LoVEChrome talk we broke up the next day. I just truly wanted my soulmate. I knew they were out there.

Serena brought me down from cloud nine a week later. It was Sunday morning, a full nine days after meeting him in the bar when I told Serena. From the moment that the words came out of my mouth, she was concerned and full of what I viewed as judgement.

"I am having sex with Chuck. I think we are dating," I blurted out. I was in her bedroom helping her try on dresses for tomorrow night's engagement party. Serena and Nate ignored most of my suggestions last week. So they were having the event at the Van der Bass penthouse with their favorite chef and a few family friends.

"Blair. I don't know if that is a good idea," she sat on the bed next to me in her aqua floor length Stella McCarty gown. Her face displaying concern that ended the fluttering I felt all week in my belly.

"Why not?" I threw back. "I am having the time of my life."

"This is what he does. Whenever Nate and I were in Europe, the amount of women I saw with him was immense. It is no secret that he sleeps around with women Blair. He always has. Usually it is more of a onetime thing so that fact that it has lasted a week is confusing you, sweetheart. He may meditate now and does not do drugs but he is who he was in high school." She laid her hand on my calf in a way to reassure me but it only felt demeaning. I knew what she was saying was true. I knew his reputation. But I also knew how I felt when I was with him.

"I know that. I know him but you are not giving him the credit he deserves. Sure, the man gets around but he is so different from the broken boy he was in high school. Trust me I would know," I responded back my anger getting the best of me as I stood up quickly and pulled away from her.

"You mean when you helped in him in high school. Seriously, Blair what was that about? You never told Nate or me. You really should have told Nate they are best friends. Plus, I cannot believe you never told me, we are best friends." She stressed the best friend part. I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms across my chest.

"You and Nate were in your own little world. He did not want me to tell anyone. So I couldn't. But I didn't tell you because I wanted to keep the secret for myself. He was mine the way Nate was yours," I explained.

"I know you were hurt by the way things happened in high school but it just occurred like that. You sleep with him in high school? Was Chuck your first and you never told me? Blair, why did you keep this from me?" she asked as she rose from the bed and began to pace the room.

"Yes, he was my first. My first love also. But at the time I could barely understand it because we have been conditioned to believe that love is found in our DNA these days," I tried to explain to her.

"First love? So did that make Dan your second?" she scoffed as to laugh at me. I knew she found the possibility impossible of loving someone who was not a match but I thought better.

"Oh my god why do you find it so hard to believe that matching is the only way to find love? You were a teenager when you were matched you have no idea how big the world is and how many people you could have met. Why is it so hard to believe that I could have had a first love or second love? Why is it so hard to believe that soulmates are not the only loves and maybe we are supposed to meet other people?" I knew I sounded like a member of the free love movement but I believed in what I was saying. I wanted to fall in love the way people used to. But at the same time the guarantee the matching process provided was unmatched. They were 99 percent accurate. The only reason they refused to put a hundred perfect success rate was to stop con artist from suing after a false divorce.

"You are only saying that because you have no clue what love truly is. You think it's like a movie or a novel you read. There is so much more to it than that. You will understand when you are matched out. I know it's been a while but I know someone was out there," she was hurtful and patronizing.

"Do not presume to know how I feel about any of the men in my life. You have no clue how to fall in love. You just followed what you were told and believed it without any other question. I hope you enjoy your boring plain life with Nate. Since there is no process to match friends maybe we should reevaluate ours," I told her and then walked out of the room.

Falling in love was all I ever wanted. I wanted to be in love but it was the process of falling in love that was been stolen with this matching. I fell in love with Chuck eight years ago and this time around, it was no different. I was falling once again and this time I could only hope that he was feeling the same way.

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 _The day that Blair finally encouraged Dan to be mapped out, she pretended she was happy. She pretended that she had all the faith in the world that no matter that the test said she was going to stand by his side. In fact, she told him that she would. She promised him that she would. But deep down she hoped he was not her match because she still believe another man was destined to be. Her belief in love and divine intervention came smacking back in her face when she opened the New York Times that morning to discover that a large photo of Chuck Bass and his dealings with the European Union that week dominated the business section. She smiled at Dan over breakfast when he told her of a dream he had in which she was his LoVEChrome match but she knew it was not true. She thought she knew who her match was._

 _They shared one look when he walked out of the office to the waiting room where she sat and they both knew it was over. She pretended long enough that she was as dedicated to the free movement as he was. She wanted the romance of falling in love but the certainty that the LoVEChrome gave her. She wanted the best of both worlds. He wanted the freedom to fall in love as well but when the researcher told him he was matched to someone else, he could not help but want to meet that person because once you knew it changed everything. The author was sad that science won romance but we lived in a new era. So the girl went home to dream of her first love. At the same time he, the billionaire, reformed bad boy received a call from the researchers at LoVEChrome as he stared at a file for Blair Waldorf. He read though her information as he talked to his loyal president of operations. As the silent majority stockholder, he owned the company and he was able to manipulate and play with the love life of 65% of world's population but there was only one person who truly mattered._

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A.N: Researching for this story I discovered that there is company called GenePartner, which is a biological matching method, determines the genetic compatibility of two people. Apparently, in matches their immune systems harmonize and result in an enduring relationship, satisfying sex, and higher fertility. Not quite what the program does in this story but maybe not a long way off.

I usually hate Dan and Blair together in any story but it works well in this one. In addition, there won't be any Dan and Blair scenes. I decided to use the flashback to look at different parts of the past and not only the time were that Blair and Chuck having their secret love affair. Read and review if you are interested or have any questions.


	3. Chapter 3

A.N: Thank you for all the reviews. I really appreciate them and I am so happy ya are enjoying the story as much as I am. The concept is fun to write out. Sorry for the delay birthdays, vacations and babysitting nieces and nephews left me with little time to update. I love all the questions they are so helpful in flushing out the details.

General Review Response (just in case people had similar questions).: Chuck was not an owner as teenager but has been purchasing stock throughout his time in London. _Spoiler: Bart however will be involved in that investment so the Bass hands were in the pot for a while._ Chuck did not mess with the Serena/Nate match because he was not an owner/a hot mess. As the owner, Chuck can mess with the matches but maybe he has or hasn't or maybe he will. Don't worry all will be revealed. Blair is already mapped out but has been waiting nine years to be matched with someone to no avail.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

* * *

It was the day of Serena and Nate's engagement party and I was determined not to go. I wanted to miss it because of our argument but I also knew I would regret not going. Also, Serena would hold it over my head and probably name her child Hover to spite me. It was reaching ten and I was still in bed going over the conversation from last night while Chuck was in the bathroom performing his morning ritual and I swear it rivaled mine. I looked up when I felt his stare on me. His eyes were filled with concern and I could tell he wanted to ask me what was wrong. Last night, I refused to talk to him about my argument with Serena. Which only resulted in my being distracted at dinner well until Chuck distracted me with his tongue.

"You know I left the door open as a hint that I would love it if you joined me," he said as he dried his hair with the towel before draping it around his shoulders. His silk pajama pants, sitting low on his waist showing his happy trail, which sidetracked me temporarily. His smirk was proud and cocky as he realized why I was unfocussed. But I looked away and once again my thoughts drifted back to my decision today. I bit down on my thumb in thought.

"Blair, what is going on in that head of your?" he asked as he came to sit down next to me.

I sat up letting the blanket fall making my bare chest quiet visible to Chuck purposefully. I yawned bringing my arms up over my head further trying to distract him now. When I opened my eyes, his were tense and his tongue dipped out to lick the top of his lip. I slowly pulled the sheet up to cover my best to make sure that he just his eyeful.

"Hmmm?" I asked pretending I forgotten his question.

"You are teasing me," he said bluntly, as he moved closer to kiss me. I let him slowly kiss me. He pulled back and I moved to wrap my arms around his neck to pull him back to me but he only moved close enough to rest his forehead on mine. "Talk to me…please." His please surprised me and shocked me enough to make me reconsider sharing with him the conversation that I had yesterday.

"Serena and I had an argument yesterday and I don't know if I should go to the party," I confessed.

"I see." He paused for a moment. "You have to go," he said and I rolled my eyes at his tact. "What was the conversation about?" he asked trying again. With a groan, I laid back back on the bed.

"You. Us. This," I admitted unable to look at him. It was far too early to have this conversation. "I told her that we were having sex. I told her that we had sex in the past, in high school. She was hurt I think because I never admitted it to her. She gets all high and mighty telling me that I should just wait for my LoVEChrome to be mapped. I've waited nine years for a stupid call. They are never going to call!" I let out the rush of information and carefully avoided any mention my love for him.

"Blair. Things are different for Serena and Nate they only ever knew each other. Frankly, this, us is none of her business," he whispered to me. I sat back up and I weighed my next words. The truth was needed to know what this was.

"What are we? What is this? If you just want it to be sex than that's okay," I told him able to give him the out if he needed it.

"Blair. I don't know how to do this. I've never…. I thought," he ran his hand through his hair and looked away and then back down to me smiling and I was surprised to see the light blush on his cheeks. "I never really had a real girlfriend before and I thought we… that you and I were I don't know dating… I guess. I never really sleep with the same women twice… well besides you" he tried to explain and a wide grin broke out on my face until I began laughing. The giggling proved to be too much for him, his embarrassment was increasing, and he moved to leave the bed. Men like Chuck hated being embarrassed, big ego and all. I quickly quieted down and sat up to wrap my arms around his shoulder pulling him back down to sit. I pressed my chest into his back and I kissed his neck.

"So boyfriend, if you don't like when I giggle why don't you shut me up?" I whispered and as soon I was done, he flipped around pressing me on my back onto the bed. My laughter being stopped by his lips claiming mine.

"Hey, I am sorry I need to go. I promised Nate I would run errands with him," he was nibbling on my neck. "You need to go speak to Serena," he told me. I rolled my eyes yet again we were cuddling together post-sex. "Blair, come on we can go together. I can introduced you as my girlfriend to Lily and my father," he said and suddenly instead I was nervous. The fear in my eyes and tension in my body must have alerted him to me. "Or not. Look this is new for me. I am not sure how to go about this Blair but I know I want this," he was earnest and I shifted to make direct eye contact with him.

"I want this too," I told him. He smiled.

"So how do we do this?" he asked and I could tell he was uncomfortable. Chuck Bass a man of the world been to numerous countries, reformed playboy and brilliant man overall was here uncomfortable about being a relationship.

"We can just go to the event and be ourselves. We can arrive together and just let things natural flow people will assume things as they do," I told him and he smiled.

"So you are going," his grin was sardonic. I raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh, you tricked me," I groaned. He laughed kissing me my cheekbone.

"I have to go, okay," he peppered kisses all around my face. I felt loved by him in that act I wondered how deep his feelings were. I knew it was too soon to tell him about mine He moved off the bed finally to get dressed but he did not have time for a shower. I smiled with the knowledge that my scent was going to mark him all day. I stretched out in the bed unbelievably satisfied and happy. He winked at me when he came out of his closet and I watched him make his tie.

"You've been here every night for ten days. You should move some stuff in my closet," he told me. I knew what it meant for him to do that. I nodded and grinned unable to stop myself.

"Your precious closet space, did you consult this with your bowtie collection," I teased and he grinned.

"It is a sacrifice I am willingly to make if it means that you are going to be around more and more," he said as he moved closer to the bed to kiss me. Our kiss interrupted by his cell phone and Nate was no doubt calling. He stood up put on his watch, and then his jacket and I enjoyed watching him like this. It was my laziest Saturday in years.

Finally, I got up and took a shower ready to start the day in the midafternoon. I was adjusting the nude Manolo Blahnik on my left foot when the phone rang.

"Hello," it answered Serena. I knew she was probably in the dead thick of ensuring the party was moving along. I was supposed to be there; I had cleared my schedule for it.

"I need you here. Please Blair," she said sounding weak and sad. I instantly froze and I knew I needed to come through for my best friend. "Actually, I want to get out of here. Anne and my mother are driving me crazy," she said and I could hear the sniffles.

"Yes, of course I am in Chuck's penthouse at the Palace. But we could meet somewhere else if needed," I told her. This place already felt like my home.

"Yea okay. I am coming," she said. I told her I would see her in a few and I speed up my morning routine quickly putting on the first jewelry I had Dorota had packed without looking at the options. I breeze though my makeup and hair in time for Serena to arrive.

I was walking into the living room when the elevator doors opened to reveal Serena. She was dressed in a cotton t-shirt and jeans and sunglasses. This was her low-maintenance outfit and the baseball cap and sunglasses on her face were clearly on to hide her appearance. I smirked at her attempt.

"Is this you in spy mode? Or runaway bride," I joked but she pouted instead and removed her glasses and hat revealing to me that was crying.

"S," I said lightly as I hugged her.

"You have to come you are my best friend. My person," she said sniffing.

"I was going to go, I promise," I swore to her.

"But you didn't come this morning to help. These pre-wedding nerves are making my so confused. I thought you weren't going to show because of last night. But I need you there. Lily and Anne are wild pulling me in every direction. Nate left with Chuck a bit ago and it's been a mess ever since," she explained as she pulled away. I laughed imagining the site.

"Okay well lets go back then and sort everything out," I told her hoping to calm her nerves.

"Wait, I want to talk about last night," she said and seat down on the sofa wiping the last tears from her eyes.

Sitting next to her, I could help but be on edge about having this conversation. "We don't have to right now," I tried to back pedal.

"We do. I sorry about the love thing. I did not mean it. I am sorry that you haven't gotten matched yet I just really want you to be happy. You been so spacey since Dan turned out not to be your match. I don't want that to happen again. And with Chuck and you are already mapped out there a chance one of you get the call. Then what?" she asked. Her concerns were valid since three boyfriends including Nate after getting the call dumped me.

I shrugged my shoulder. I did not know the answer.

"Maybe I will put my match on hold," I suggested. It was an option I have never taken before. You were able to put the service on hold so that rather than them contacting you, you can contact them when ready. It was marketed so people who were going through particularly tough times in their lives did not have to deal with personal issues and then receive a call to tell him 'inappropriate news'. Many people used it as a means to wait to until they were ready to settle down before they allowed themselves and their match to be alerted. Many of my friends in college used it and uplifted the hold upon graduation. But I have heard of unmatched couples putting a hold on the matching processes to date each other. I never had a hold. I never was one to have patience. Serena told me to put it up once when Eric put his match on hold but I refused. So my suggestion hung in the air since she knew how against it I was for myself only a few years ago.

"I know that LoVEChrome is not perfect, Blair. I am not naïve. But it does work. I want that for you… Nate and I are not perfect… but we love each other. I admit it is hard to be with the same person for a decade," I looked at her afraid we were having a runaway bride moment.

"But you've done it and are about to be married," I tried to encourage her.

"I cheated on Nate," she smile softly and I had only hoped that I heard her wrong but the guilt on her face told me I was right.

"What?" was all I managed to squeak out.

"About five years ago in college. I was bored, and tired of the same thing. I had an affair with my professor for two months. Nate found out and I nearly destroyed us both. I thought he could never look at me the same way. I realized then the difference between lust and love. As exciting as that affair was in that moment at the end of the day the only person I want to share my life was with Nate. It was in those moments when he walked out on me did I finally figure out what I was missing when I was not with him. All the little things he did that made me smile. I took his love for granted because we were so young when we got together. I think that's why it took him so long to propose…. I think us both knowing that were soulmates made it harder for us to walk away so it really saved our relationship. So I know this matching thing isn't perfect but it works. My mother and Bart, your mother and Cyrus, your father and Roman, everyone we know that has been matched are happy together in the end. That is all I want for you. Not some quick fun affair. I want the happy ever for you," she took my hand in hers as she explained her secret affair and her wish for me. I knew she needed me to forgive her for hurting Nate as well. Suddenly Nate junior year aboard without Serena made sense. It was so sudden and unplanned when he flew off to London but by the time, he came back that summer everything seemed okay. Since we were at different schools, I never knew the full details. But I could not help but fear that they only stood in the relationship because they thought they had no other chance at love.

"I am sorry you went through all of that with Nate and you never told me. I would have been here for you S. But I am so happy everything worked out in the end" she tearfully nodded and hugged me. "I know what you are saying. I want that too. I know I hate the concept of LoVEChrome but it has in fact become a part of our world. It would be stupid of me to pretend that it suddenly going to change. But I refuse to just sit around and wait to be contacted. Look at Eric and Jonathan. They do not know for sure if they are 'soulmates' because Eric put a stopgap on his results. But they are so good together and I don't see you giving Eric as hard a time as me," I tried to make her see why I was not going to stop dating.

"Because Eric's never had has heartbroken but how many times have you had? Plus Jonathan also has a stopgap so all we know they could be matched. But you date men you know you don't have futures with who are not your match. I was okay with Dan because the possibly was at least there that he could have been your match but alas he wasn't and you guys did not last a day after that. So if Chuck's match is found while you are dating, your heart is going to be broken yet again," she explained. I knew she just wanted me to be safe and not get hurt again but I needed to live my life. My feelings for Chuck were too strong to walk away at this point but I did not want to confess that again to Serena while she was being unsupportive.

"Yes that would hurt. But I don't think that means being with him is a mistake."

"That is exactly what it is," she cut me off giving me a stern glare. I rolled my eyes standing up from the sofa pacing the room trying to keep my anger at bay.

"No, no it is not. We are children of unmatched people before LoVEChrome became popular. Wouldn't that make us mistakes? Hell, my father's match was Roman so tell me was he never supposed to have me. I refused to think of my existence as a mistake," I tried to explain to her. She could never see the beauty in imperfections.

"That was different time Blair. What are you contemplating having Chuck's love child… ugh… Blair I guess all I trying to say that I believe that your match is out there," she finished off and I knew that the conversation was coming to a truce.

"What if there isn't anyone out there Serena? What if I never have one? Does everybody get a soulmate? What if he died? What if he fell in love with someone else and will never be mapped? I can't wait forever because it may never come. I know I want a family and children so I can't wait. Do I want the certainty of the match, of course. I think about all the time. I could have placed a stopgap on my results but I didn't. Every time my phone rings for a moment, I think maybe this is it. But I can't stop my life," I finally laid out all my fears for hers. I never really confessed this to her before but since she was honest with me today than I thought it was okay for me to be honest with her.

She paused the weight of my words hitting her. I think for the first time she understood my position. Serena never had to worry about the things that I did because she found Nate so early. I was going on a decade of waiting. Officially, my twenty-six birthday will mark the decade and every birthday that passes makes me feel like a failure.

"Well then if Chuck makes you happy that's all I can hope for," she said relenting to my position.

"He does. He asked me to move in," I shared my happy news with a wide grin as I sat down next to her again. Her eyebrows raised in response.

"Oh, so you must be making him happy then too," she winked suggestively as an olive branch. I knew we were going to be okay.

* * *

"So I noticed you came with Chuck and you two are eye fucking every chance you get," a smirking Eric said as he came to stand right next me. I rolled my eyes. At his comments knowing, he was teasing me.

The party was in full swing and Serena and Nate were loving the attention. After, Serena and I came back I took control of the last minute details to make sure that Lily and Anne left Serena alone. By the time, I got back to the penthouse to change for the evening Chuck had already ordered a massage therapist for me at my arrival. He arrived shortly after my massage while I was napping from the long day. Waking me up with the power of his very skilled tongue, he brought to multiple orgasms before finally entering me. Needless to say, we were late for the event and our joint arrival arm in arm did not go unnoticed by the family and friends at the small gathering.

"So what about it?" I asked but my smile would not vanish since I was still too happy post-sex. I sipped on my cocktail observing the room to ensure everything was running smoothly. Chuck had finally left my side to talk shop with Bart.

"Just want to know if you are fucking my step-brother," he asked with a playful smile and I rolled my eyes.

"I am in every way imaginable," I winked.

"He even has you talking like him, ewww" Eric faked grasped making me laugh further.

"I am so happy that you and Jonathan made it up from school," I said changing the conversation while glancing over to look at Eric's boyfriend of two years.

"Yea, it's his first time meeting Chuck actually. I did not realize how much I was looking forward to his approval," Eric said with a shrug. Chuck living aboard made him more of a stepbrother than an actual sibling. However, for Eric's study aboard he went to London for one semester and stood with Chuck while he spent the other semester in Argentina with Jonathan. I guess that time help create bonds that their parents had wanted.

"Chuck is a very hard man to please but I figured it out," I joked. "Did he give you the A-Okay?"

Eric chuckled. "He seemed to really like Jonathan. He even joked that he would manipulate the results after the stopgap for me."

"What you can do that for a few million these days?" I teased.

"Probably some way but Chuck owns the majority so I am sure he can manipulate whatever he wants," Eric confided. Suddenly I stopped laughed and I looked at Eric not sure, if he was still kidding.

"He is the majority shareholder?" I asked in soft whisper.

"Blair, you didn't know? It a silent partnership but I saw the paperwork when I stood with him. I know you dabbled in the free-love movement but don't be so offended. He is a billionaire in his own right without BI and LoVEChrome is a guarantee money-pit. It is a bit ironic since when I was in London Chuck loved picking up those free-love women for a quick lay and he owned the thing they despised the most," Eric shrugged.

Suddenly I felt a little queasy. The man owned LoVEChrome and he wanted to date me even though we did not match. The man who promised me to never be matched even after he already was. He listened me to complain about matching process all the while he profited from it. I wondered if he was just laughing at me. Was I just an easy lay for him since I was unmatched and lonely?

"Blair, you okay?" Eric asked. I looked up to him realizing I had completely forgotten about our conversation. Realization slowly came about.

"Are you and Chuck in a serious thing? Oh, Blair, those girls were ages ago," he said mistaking my sorrow over Chuck's whoreish past.

"Everything is fine. We are dating or something like that," I toned down the labels I was so proud of only this afternoon.

Suddenly I felt him behind me, only he made me shiver like this, placing an arm around my waist.

"Something like that, huh," he teased with a quick kiss to my hairline. I smiled the best I could as my mind wrapped around the new information.

"So something more?" Eric asked us with a smile.

"I gave her space in my closet today and I do believe she called me a God or was that for that thing I did with my," he teased and I placed my hand over his mouth to stop his comment. I looked around hopeful that were out of earshot of any parents or something making Eric and Chuck laugh some more.

"I do believe you almost cried when I rolled my hips over you _in that way_ you begged for," I teased back after I dropped my hand making Eric laugh some more.

"Okay. Okay I have way too much knowledge about your sex life that I ever wanted," Eric said in between laughs. Chuck looked away fighting back a laugh as he smiled and I giggled a bit forgetting my anger previously.

"What can I say she matches me punch for punch," Chuck complimented as he laid another kiss on my hairline and I could stop the wide grin again.

"You two are like made for each other," Eric teased. His words hit close to home wiping my smile away because we were not. We were not matched up, not soulmates, not made for each other.

"Yea but let's see if they make a closet big enough for the both of us," I teased trying to keep the moment light.

* * *

 _They both fell before they knew it. Blair did not want to fall for the fallen teen who was so lost in the world but she did. Somewhere in between managing his craving for a fix and managing her craving for him, she fell. She knew having sex with him just because of their loneness and empty hearts was a bad move but she was young and stupid. When she caught feelings everything just seem to fall into place. She would come home from school and fall into bed with him. She would tell him about the gossip at school and he would rate his need to score from one to ten. She thought she had everything under control. She thought they were in love but then he left her._

 _For Chuck, things were different. He thought seeing Blair in Central Park was a mirage. He was convinced for a full two days that he had died and was only imagining Blair Waldorf taking care of him, but when the mirage did not take clear of his hard-on, he knew it was no heaven or afterlife. So, he thought he was given a second chance at life and love. He threw himself into her listening to her every word, soothing her worries, trying to show her his feeling through the only way he knew, thinking if he could love her the way she deserve he would serve his penitence for his sins. But with love for a sixteen year boy comes jealously and anger. With that, jealousy only made his cravings for her and whatever would numb the pain stronger. He knew if stood he would distort whatever they shared into something ugly. Chuck did not know when he fell in love with Blair but it was before he ever step foot her guest bedroom. He loved her from afar for what felt like years so what were a few more years an ocean away while he fixed himself for her. Made himself worthy of her._

* * *

 _A_.N: Its been a while. But the final piece of the LoVEChrome matching process is revealed: the stopgap/hold that can be place on the results. For those wondering Eric is in his final year of college and is planning to wait until his gradation to find out if his boyfriend is 'the one'. And the major news in this flashback: Chuck loved Blair before she saved him.

I know that Chuck is kind of an enigma and we have not really seen who the new Chuck is but that will be unraveled through the flashbacks and conversations with Blair. I am not planning to write a chapter from his point of view.

 _FYI_ I am modeling Chuck off what happened to his character in the book series. I never read the gossip girl novels but wiki tells me that he was not a major character. He then disappears after a stint in military school but in the final novel, (after the success of the show) brings him back after he reforms himself penniless and full of wisdom and dates Blair Waldorf while they attend Oxford (?) Not sure if all of that is true but it is loosely what kind of what happens to him here but different in many ways.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Do not own GG characters.

A.N: So many guest reviews so thank you all. I really appreciate it. Please keep them up. They encourage me to update faster. This chapter is a bit of fluff to set up the ending.

* * *

I dated other men before Chuck Bass but he took dating to an entirely new level. I never thought Chuck Bass would do dating like this. Expensive dinners, wonderful gifts, and his constant thoughtful attention made him almost the perfect boyfriend. Any thought of being truly in love before this went out the door. This was new different and everything. The past three months almost felt unreal. Between dating, amazing sex, helping Serena plan her wedding, and changing my job I was surprised I even found time to sleep. Serena's wedding was a little more than one month away and it was proving to be a very low key but classy event that I sure we were all going to remember.

My mother expressed interest in retiring and offered me the positon of running Waldorf designs. While I was not a designer, I was transitioning into overseeing the business side of the company as well as being the hunt for a series of designers to work under the label. I thought working with my mother was going to be a nightmare but in fact, I was amazed with how much it felt like home. In the beginning, I was unsure if this would make me happy but I have never been happier. Chuck was incredibly supportive and was encouraging me to talk to my mother about my desire to start a male line. He was my rock in my transition and I was in his.

When Chuck was disowned as a teenager, he was removed from the Bass Industries stock. When Bart and Chuck reconciled Chuck pleaded with his father to allow him to do for himself and took no money from Bart. In fact, he used the ten million that Cyrus had released from his trust fund nine years ago to pay for his education as he invested in business deals in Europe. Chuck turned those millions into a billon in the tech industry. Now however, there were discussions of Bart wanting to retire and leave his son everything. However, since Bart own 60% of the company and with Chuck's profile being so large BI was afraid that Chuck would purchase more stock leaving the board with virtually no power. In truth, that was what Chuck was doing. He wanted compete control of BI and he was currently wining and dining current investors trying to buy them out. He then hoped to combine all of his business and properties to create the largest conglomerate America business has seen in a long time. This would make Chuck one of the richest men in the world. Even after all our discussions regarding his business ventures. I was waiting for Chuck to confide about his dealings with LoVeChrome. I was worried about bringing it up since that meant talking about love matches, which honestly terrified me. I wanted us to place the stopgap on results but every time I wanted to mention it, I lost my nerves. Everything was so perfect I did not want to dampen it.

Due to his newfound increase in the American press, he was constantly getting his photo snapped at events. Which was why I was here sitting angry. I waited in the cold lonely penthouse for Chuck to come home fully ready for a fight. The white marble counter normally balanced out the dark imposing modern cabinets in the kitchen but today everything just felt sterile. That morning over coffee sunlight streaming in making everything still glow we compared schedules hoping for some time to squeeze in lunch when he informed he had an interview with Time Magazine over a profile as a the wealthiest bachelor. I was angry he never mentioned it to me and I took insult to the fact that he was considered a bachelor since he was very much mine. But I could not say that out right Chuck ego would grow in size. There were already enough gold diggers trying to gain his attention without this article already inflating his ego. But he was only allowed to inflate for me.

Therefore, I sat at the stool resting my elbows on the kitchen island with a glass of wine only in my cream silk robe. I wanted to have the upper hand and wearing lingerie while yelling would surely put Chuck off his game. Luckily, I was only on my first glass when he walked in. He looked tired as he ran a hand over his face with the realization that I was ready for a fight. I knew he had a long day and he looked exhausted but I wanted to have this conversation now. Our first fight. Honeymoon period was over.

"Blair, I am tired. Can we talk tomorrow, my noon should be free," he informed me as he moved to kiss me but I turned so would only kiss my cheek.

"I am not free. You should not assume that I would be," I told him and I sat still my head turned away from him. "So we should talk now."

He grunted a little and said nothing more as he found a wine glass from the cabinet. He poured himself a glass and I was only surprised because I only ever seen him drink scotch even if he had a very impressive wine collection. He lazily twirled the glass before taking a sip appreciating the wine from his collection he was amassing for me.

"So lets hear it. The dramatic Blair Waldorf and her famous meltdowns round one," he said sarcastically with a roll of his eye. I was surprised with an attitude and I went on the defensive further. I stood open crossing my arms over my chest and Chuck raised an eyebrow at me as if to tell me he was waiting.

"I can take my fit somewhere else if you like," I told him.

"Blair, it was just an interview," he said quickly moving closer to me trying to diffuse my mood.

"No, Chuck. It was you telling the world that you are single and rich which is not true," I spat out angrily.

"Which part isn't true the single or the rich part? Last, I check I was pretty fucking wealthy," I rolled my eyes and did not answer his silly question. I knew he was only trying to make me mad. "The magazine was clearly just using the term bachelor because I am not married. It's not a big deal," he said.

"Maybe it is a big deal to me. How would you like it if I was on a magazine advertising my availability to the world?" I shouted back.

"Can we save this argument until after all the gold diggers that come forward. I'm beat," he said with an annoyed tone pinching his brow.

"Why so you could just fuck them?" I shout back. I don't know why I said it. I did not really think he would cheat on me but we never really had that 'talk'. Instead, we talked around it after I moved in and I just assume that we were both not seeing other people. The look of hurt and confusion on his face with clear and I knew I stepped over a line. His jaw tightened and he placed the glass down. He took a few deep long breaths before glancing at me but he looked irritated and said nothing but shook his head. I suddenly felt like a child in trouble with her parent.

"I am not doing this tonight Blair," he mumbled.

"Chuck," I said softly walking closer to him but he left the room quickly walking to the bedroom. I followed him at a slower pace. He was in the bathroom undressing as the bath filled with water.

"Chuck," I said again hoping to capture his attention. He said nothing. I watched him as he poured the bath oils in the bath while only dressed in his trousers.

"Get in," he said and I surprised at his invitation. I was stunned into silence but Chuck walked over to me and pulled at the stash at my robe. He moved the robe off my shoulder drop to the ground and let his hands roam over my ass gently as he was ghosting his hands over me. I stared into his hurt face. The bags under his eyes were clear and he had stubble growing which I knew he never would allow. His eyes were large as if he was begging my forgiveness.

"Chuck," I started again but the look in his eyes just told me to get in the bath so I did and Chuck followed sitting behind me. He pulled me close to him. The warm bath and closeness to Chuck calmed my anger and it seemed to do the same as I felt the tension seep away from his body. There were no words as he lathered a washcloth with my favorite body wash rubbing it against my back, my neck before running it across my belly causing desire to rise in me. I leaned into him hopeful that he would drift his hand further south but he did not to my disappointment. Instead, he dropped the washcloth and his hands began to softly trail over my breast lightly.

"Blair, I don't want anyone else. I promise. Just you. I sorry if doing the interview made you think that I want to be viewed as a bachelor. I honestly did not think it was that serious. In my mind, you and I are together and I could care less about what anyone else thinks. I am sorry for my attitude when I walked it. It was a very stressful day, baby," he voice was soft and tired and I knew that my words hurt him for some reason even more than I could imagine. "I belong with you. You get that don't you? You and me that's it. I could care less about the rest of it," he whispered into my ear and I could hear the desperation in his voice.

"I just wished that you would have told me about it," I admitted softly as I took his hands from my breast and pulled them to my lips kissing them in an apology before holding them close to my chest.

"I know but I thought I mentioned it but I guess I forgot since we both have been so busy," he admitted. I nodded in agreement taking a deep breath happy that we had moved past this argument. Honestly, I was disappointed in myself as the lack of a vocal apology but my stubborn streak was legendary but I knew Chuck would understand my inability to voice an apology. He understood me so well.

"I need you to know something," I told him debating if dropping the love word would be appropriate now.

"What's that?" he said as he began to kiss my neck nibbling.

"You belong to me," I said as I twisted my body to look him right in the eyes. He smirked at my words. "No one else. You are not allowed to be with no one else. Clear?" I said my voice demanding. There was no joking in my voice but Chuck had the gall to chuckle.

"Waldorf marking me hers huh?" he said with a smirk before I could pull away for his laughter he grabbed my hips and turned me further till was standing on my knees across from him in between his knees. He dropped his hand to my collarbone running his finger down until he positioned his hand over my left breast until his palm fell flat against my beating heart. His voice dropped lower before he said, "that's fine by me as long as you know that you belong to me as well."

"Deal," was all I said before I leaned in to kiss him turning to straddle him in the bath.

* * *

It was one month later as I waited for the new issue of Time Magazine to be out this month. There was only two days (not counting today) away from Serena's wedding and we supposed to be on our way to the dress fitting. However, I made the car service pull over to a newspaper stand much to Serena's amusement.

"Blair, so tell are you going to read every word to me?" she asked and I rolled my eyes as I re-entered the car.

I held the cover out so she could read it. There he was on the front cover a full-length body image the headline reading America's Prized Business Man Returns Home with a subtitle reading Most Edible Bachelor is Taken. I knew instantly Chuck must have gotten the magazine to change the headline to my benefit.

"Ohhh read it and tell me if it says who he is taken by," Serena squealed before telling the driver to drive to the destination.

I smiled with relief as I opened it up to find the article. I would read the complete piece later. I skimmed through it to see if there was any mention of me.

 _TM: So there is much talk over your recent outings with Miss Waldorf and I just wanted to know if there is any truth to the speculation._

 _Bass: [CB chuckles] Speculation, huh. [Smiles] Yes, there is truth to the speculation._

 _TM: So, what can you tell me about the relationship?_

 _Bass: It is good. I don't know what to say. [shrugs] She makes me happy._

 _TM: It is the first time you have been reported to be in a relationship what did she do to catch your eye?_

 _Bass: She always had my eye since high school. I had a grade school crush on her [chuckles] for as long as I can remember. She is a remarkable strong ambitious woman with so much strength and gentleness. In this transition working with BI again she has been helpful and so supportive._

 _TM: She sounds like the full package._

 _Bass: She is._

 _TM: Is she your true love match?_

 _Bass: I am not mapped out._

 _TM: Really? Why is that?_

 _Bass: It is very complicated. But being happy to me in this moment matters more._

 _TM: Your friends Nate Archibald and stepsister Serena Van der Woodsen are getting married this coming month are the wedding bells ringing yet for you?_

 _Bass: [Chuckles] Can I plead the fifth on that one._

"Wait is that a yes? Is he going to propose?" Serena asked with a grin as I finished reading the last part but I barely heard her as I skim the rest of the article to see if there was any other mention.

"No, I am sure that he just did not want to answer the question. We haven't even said the love word to each other yet. But why would he say that he has not been matched out if Nate said he had?" I explained putting the magazine down. Truthfully, after reading that portion I felt silly about the argument we had a month ago. I had to figure out a way to make it all up to him.

"Everyone knows you two are crazy about each other. I am surprised that you two haven't told each other that you love each other. Also I don't get why he said that. Let me see this is weird," Serena said. I nodded in agreement but it was bothering me. A part of me felt like he did not say I love you yet because he did not think we were long term because we were not matches.

"What if he doesn't love me?" I mumbled as I looked out the window noticing we were turning on the block of the tailor. "Why not just say we are not matched?"

"Maybe he did not want to admit you aren't matched. You now when unmatched celebrities start dating people place bets on how long they will last. It is easier this way. But I really don't know Blair. I think you need to speak to him. But his charity gala is tonight," Serena bit her lip as she read the same section and the following which referenced his charity. The car stopped and I plastered a fake smile as I encouraged to her become excited over her coming wedding. Two days.

When was I going to find the time to speak to him about this? Today was the gala for his addiction recovery high schools, tomorrow was Serena's wedding rehearsal dinner, and then following was her wedding. Honestly, whichever way the conversation went I was scared about the outcome.

* * *

I was getting ready for the event in a strapless Dior gown placing my necklace around myself. Looking in the mirror, I told myself to calm down and think about the event tonight. I needed to put that first before anything else. I bite down on my fingernail deep in thought. To confront Chuck or not? It was almost too much to think of. I did not know what he meant by pleading the fifth nor did I understand why he lied about the LoVEChrome process. He has not even said he loved me why would he want to propose? I understand not wanting to open up about whether or not we are matched but why not tell me that last month when we talked about the article. Sometime getting information out of him was like pulling teeth. Ugh, men.

"Stop biting your nail sweetheart. What's wrong?" Chuck said as he came up behind me rubbing my shoulders. He was fully dressed in a hand tailored evening suit that had a deep evening midnight blue jacket with a black tailored pants and a black evening shirt. It matched the midnight sapphire blue crystal embossed Dior grown.

"Nothing. I am just really excited for you," I half lied. This recovery school was a big deal to him. It was the first in a series of new schools he wanted to opened that provided high schoolers who were addicts a safe environment with other addicts on the road to recovery for student of all economic social backgrounds. The staff was filled with licensed counselors, peer group therapy, and self-imposed drug testing. It was also a fully formed high school hoping to compete academically with other schools. Chuck said that if he had the opportunity to attend a place like this his life would have been very different.

"I am excited too. I am so happy that we are doing this together. You were amazing in helping get approval from the board of education," he complimented. I smiled up at him in his praise.

"Just the regular power couple," I joked.

"I want us to be that. I want our strengths to work with each other and make each other stronger," he told me before leaning in to kiss me. Kissing him back, I still could not get the magazine article off my mind.

"I read the interview and profile. I thought it went well. What did you think?" I asked once he pulled away.

"I thought I was going to get a few sexual favors out of what I said about you after last month. Or an apology because I thought I made it very clear that I was not available for the golden diggers," he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, yes. Sorry. But you said we aren't matched which is a sign for believers that our relationship is not going last."

"You wanted me to say we are matched? I thought you didn't want a process to tell you who to love," he smirked at me.

"I don't but I don't want people thinking that we are doomed to fail either."

"I don't need my DNA to tell me I am attracted to you," he kissed my cheeks. "I am happy with you," he kissed my neck. "I am head over heels" kissed me again "world stopped spinning" kissed behind my ears "and every other sappy shit people say when they are in this deep in love," he told me.

"In hopelessly live disgustingly love with you," I told him once our kiss stopped making him chuckle before our lips meet over again.

"Fuck Blair I love you so much," he said before finding the zipper to my grown. Needless to say we were late to his own event.

When we finally arrived at the fundraiser, I was still glowing from Chuck's declaration. Massive amounts of wealth were in the room as we hoped to raise five million dollars for the school. The room was well decorated, the music was not too over powering, and the food tasted amazing. I said my hello to Bart, Lily, Serena, Nate, and Eric who was back in town for the coming wedding. We walked the room with ease and confident. Truth was Chuck and I had the uncanny ability to get things done together. Once we had a plan to set in motion there was nothing that stood in our way. The night was moving wonderfully as it came time for Chuck to deliver his speech about the school.

"I want to thank everyone for coming. The foundation and I truly appreciate the support and the money you spent on dinner and have donated. I am optimistic for the benefits of these addiction recovery high schools here in New York City. I as many of you know spent most of my teenager years in this city pretty much high. I never fully experienced the city and saw it for what it was in those days but now that I am back in my hometown, I feel blessed to be able to do this for my community. I only hope that we can continue to find support for this project and that it is able to influence the lives of the children who truly need it. All throughout the night, I been asked questions about the name of the school. Truth is many of my advisors thought I should name it after myself but that did not feel deserving because unlike the students that will one day walk the halls of this school they will hopefully graduate with a high school diploma while I did not do that. So I decided to name it "Guiding Light" in honor of my guiding light that lend me on the path to recovery all those years ago. Blair, baby," he looked right at me along with everyone else in the room. "Thank you for saving my life all those years ago. Not only am I a better stronger man because of you but I am alive because you were there to guide me in my darkest moment. I love you." Yea, that speech was going to earn him sexual favors.

The whole room erupted into applause and I clapped along even as I felt the eyes of the room on me as photos were snapped. I did not realize a few tears were falling from my eyes until Serena nudged a napkin in my hand. I carefully dabbed my eyes before standing up to give Chuck a kiss when he reached our table.

His cheeks were slightly pink from the attention he was receiving but he stood proud and strong.

"I love you Blair," he whispered only for me when I pulled away from the kiss.

"I love you too," I grinned silly, as I kissed him again not caring that everyone in the room was watching us now. All that mattered was that he loved me. Everything else was going to be okay. Tonight was too perfect to ruin.

* * *

 _Chuck was only a teen when he became an addict. Craving a fix to dull the pain. Disowned and set to live away from his family he failed rehab after rehab having no desire to kick the habit. He was fine with his life the way it was he never thought that he was destined for greatness that was for men like his father. The people at rehab told him he was a sure path to death and he was fine with that. He was okay with his time being over on this earth. But the only moment were he thought he wanted more was when he hung out with Blair. Somehow, she broke through the haze of the drugs, imprinting herself in his memory. Her laugh, her curves, her bossy attitude, and her power. She seemed to get him more than anyone he ever met. She was destined for greatest and his only regret would be that he would not see her blossom into her full potential._

 _So, he was wasting away letting himself go as he found his way to the city to demand his father give him some money after escaping from another rehab. Bart refused; Chuck was no longer a Bass in his eyes. He pawned off some items for another hit before sleeping on a bench in Central Park. Unclear on how many days he was there until she came to him. Pulling on his arm half carrying him to a taxi. She took care of him. His angel, his guiding light, came to take him and he followed her thinking it was his imagination. Through his fits and rage for more drugs she dealt with him in the most amazing way. He could barely remember those first days but he was sure that he told her horrible things. Yet, she was amazing. She stood by him and made him believe that there was more to life. He wanted to take care of her but he was in in no shape to care for anyone. He did not know when loving her began or started truly but it felt like breathing once he realized he loved her he never could stopped. He would always love her._

* * *

A.N: Halfway done with this story, yay. I love where this story is going and I so happy with all the reviews. I hope the flashback to Chuck's feelings when they were younger gives you better insight to his emotions and background into his mindset.

Blair's denial of her worries means she will squash them for another chapter. She is the queen of denial but when she does erupt promise it will be good.


	5. Chapter 5

A.N: The reviews I receive for this fic really make me want to write this story but I am sad to say it is almost over. I am happy that everyone seems to enjoy it especially since I was so worried about it being AU. I added on the NJBC/rehearsal dinner scene at the end of this chapter only to extend the fic because this would have been the second to last chapter without. Gasp.

Responses to reviews: (Guest 1) yes the story is almost complete. There is only two chapters (maybe three with an epilogue) left. I am so happy the reviewers do not find the characters OC. To the reviewer who thought that the story has a horrible name I wish I could title things after they are compete but I write as I post. Maybe I would have named it something else. However, I think the title highlights the importance of the company in the Alternate Universe and without LoVEChrome being a thing it would not be an Alternate Universe. Really, the story is about the company (as you will see soon). Regardless, I am happy that you clicked it and enjoyed the story.

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Sadly, neither Nate nor Serena wanted a bachelorette or bachelor parties so I was still upset that I could not plan on or attend one. I never saw the appeal of naked crotches in your face but ever since I had known what a bachelorette party was, I was imagined that Serena's would be epic. So, when I demanded that she let me hire people to give us manicures, pedicures, and facials she agreed as long as there were no moms. It was just Eric, Jonathan, Serena, and I being pampered and prepped for the coming activities. Chuck was taking Nate out to help pick out a honeymoon gift. When I asked Nate, last night at the gala what his honeymoon gift was, he had a blank face and I ordered Chuck to remedy the situation. So no facials for Nate even though he does love a good mud mask. No doubt, Chuck picked out a gift for Nate to give Serena, the two of them are probably at the Soho House or some club enjoying a drink, and cigar or whatever billionaires and millionaires do to past time. But I was fine with that as long as my best friend was happy. I just wanted everyone to be happy. I was floating on a cloud of bliss after last night. Honestly, I should be tired from my lack of sleep since Chuck spent the entire night showing just how much he loved me but nonetheless I was not.

When our hours of gossiping and pampering were done, Serena announced she was going to nap and I was on my way out about to text my Chuck to show him how much I missed him when Eric stopped me. I thought about Chuck all day and I wanted a piece of him.

"Blair, can I ask for a favor," Eric asked. We were by the elevator away from Johnathan who was reading in the living room. Eric already had his coat on and looked anxious.

"Of course, what's up?" I asked as I put my phone away for a moment. I knew that Eric could not go to Serena the day before her wedding to trouble her so I needed to step up and play the big sister role. The elevator opened us for us and Eric led me inside without a word.

"Can you come with me to the LoVEChrome headquarters?" he asked and from the pain expression on his face coupled with Jonathan and his silence this afternoon made me realized that they were lifting the stopgap. They had less than a month to graduation so I supposed it made sense to do it now. The shock look on my face must have made him think I was against this. The day before his own sisters' wedding was probably not the time to find out if you matched with your boyfriend. What if they were not matched?

"Oh, Eric, are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes. We wanted to do it in person not over the phone. At school, the closest operating location is like a hundred miles away. It is just easier to do it now before we start accepting job offers and planning our lives together. Please. Jonathan went yesterday to lift his stopgap so when I go today they should tell us right away if we are matched. We decided to do it separately after I told him what happened with you and Dan," he confessed. It made sense the way he said it. "Please I really could use the moral support." He gave me puppy eyes and I nodded.

The ride in the yellow taxi to LoVEChrome was filled with silence. Eric's knee was jumping up and down betraying his anxiety. I grabbed his hand and held it trying to offer some support to the boy that I considered my own brother. I had been where he was but I do not think I loved Dan the way he loves Jonathan. I knew Dan and I were not going to match and I did not even hoped that we would. But one look and Eric and you can see that his entire life would give away if he was not matched with his boyfriend.

"Worse case scenario you get matched with a woman," I joked but he only looked at me more afraid. "Bad joke. I am sure you two are going to be fine. You two seem unbelievably happy together." I offered. He only took a deep breath and looked out the window. The only acknowledgment I received was a squeeze of his hand.

"Worse case scenario would be happy to do this with Serena. I swear she could be the poster child for this shit," Eric mumbled add on the joke trying to act like was in a better mood.

"Or worse with Anne who loves talking about how her and the Captain found each other before LoVEChrome and were just so happy when they were matched up again," I teased back making him laugh.

"But she leaves out the part when he went to jail and she tried to divorce him before being matched up with him," he laughed.

"Oh Anne. Remember when Lily discovered Bart Bass was her match and she almost fainted. What did she say again?" I said between laughing as I remembered all the hilarious few moments after a match occurred.

Eric threw his right hand over his forehead pretending to be Lily "Oh my, is this my penitence for marrying four men for their money," Eric said dramatically.

"Oh, my god she did not say it like that. Wasn't only three?" I said in a fit of giggles.

"I couldn't even keep count. When Serena found out Nate was hers she cried all night whining that her life was ruin and her best friend was never going to talk to her and if she did not have you she did not want him," he commented with a wink.

"True best friends," I said as I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Everything worked out for the better. Nate was always too mundane for you," he complimented.

"But not for your sister?" I teased.

"Umm she needs mundane to tone down her… ummm personality," he joked. Eric and I always had the best time teasing Serena and she was always took it with grace and laughter. Both of them always treated me as a sibling.

Suddenly we had arrived at the building. It was large ostentatious and gleamed in the sunlight as did many of the buildings in New York did. We were directed to the 65th floor of the building to the personal services section of the LoVEChrome industries. They had a few floors leased out here to run their American operations. I wondered briefly if Chuck had rode this elevator up to do business. The elevator up to the floor was packed with people and I did not have the chance to offer any advice. When we entered the sitting room, welcomed by the receptionist at the front, and told to sit in the waiting room. There were a few others waiting most them being young teenagers who were probably be mapped for the first time. I wanted to warn them that they might have to wait for years before being matched. We were only there for a couple of minutes before Eric's name was called.

"Everything will work out," I told him as I hugged him before he left.

I waited outside and desperately wanted to bite my nails but they were freshly polished for tomorrow. I could not. Instead, I grabbed this month's Vogue and flipped through it to find the Waldorf Designs ad page. I saw the shoot a dozen time but it was the first one I oversaw and it filled me with pride whenever I saw the glossy pages. Chuck even came by that day for moral support. When we somehow ran out for pins for the outfits Chuck himself ran out to get some. He really was quite attentive. Suddenly Eric came out. It had not been two minutes. I shot up from my seat.

"Eric?" I called out confused at this reappearance.

He seemed more at peace and reserved. I was hopeful that in the short time he was inform that he was matched. "I am not doing it," he announced. The few people in the sitting room and the receptionist looked up in shock and there were a few gasps that were released.

"What?" I asked confused as I followed him to elevator. He was moving fast and with purpose.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care. I love Johnathan and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want him. I love him. I know he is it for me. I don't need my chromosomes to tell me that," he ranted as he kept clicking the down button.

"Eric but shouldn't you talk to Jonathan about this. This is a huge decision," I tried to get him to see reason but we were already on the elevator moving down.

"He would understand because he loves me. He loves me Blair. That means something. We do not need to be validated by this," he explained but the smile on his face never left. I was dumbfounded in silence as I followed him into a taxi minutes later.

"But don't you need to know," I asked breaking my silence. How could he be so sure without the proof?

"You and Chuck are really inspired us last night. The way you two look at each other. Yesterday, what he said about you on that stage. There is no doubt in my mind that you two belong together. Matches be damn. Jonathan and I want that. So I am sure he will understand," Eric explained. His words hit me. Was I really okay with not being matched?

"No. Its not that simple Eric. You think I don't want Chuck to be my match. You think that would not make me happy. It would. If I got a call, right now matching me to someone else then what, I ignore it? What if in five years Chuck and I got married had a baby and then he was matched with someone else. How could I ever compete with his soulmate? Even if put a stopgap on it would be always that lingering what if in the air," I asked the naive man hoping he would see reason.

"Blair, are you saying you would leave my brother if you were matched with someone else?" he question stopping my rant.

Suddenly the realization came over me about how much I needed that match. For years, I lambasted LoVEChrome and their monopoly on love. I fell in love with the romantic notion of falling in love and here I was head over heels for someone and all I wanted LoVEChrome to swoop in and tell me it was okay. I needed that validation that all my friends and family had. I deserved that too. All my hatred for LoVEChrome had only been because I blamed them for all my heartbreak through the years. I could never blame Serena for stealing Nate away because she was my best friend so I blamed LoVEChrome. When Chuck walked away from me all those years ago, I blame LoVEChrome for not keeping us together. The lacrosse play, the class president, and sailing team captain from Yale all dumped me to be with their matches but I never blamed them. I blamed LoVEChrome. When Dan and I broke up because he was matched with someone else. I blamed LoVEChrome. But it was only envy. I wanted it as much as anyone else did. All my anger and resentment was due to my embarrassment that my match had not occurred.

"I… I think I would have to," I shuttered over my response. I could tell it upset Eric.

"But Blair. You two love each other," Eric said his face falling at my words.

"Love is not always enough. Its not guarantee. Soul mates are forever Eric and that's not what I have. As romantic as it was to fall in love with someone what I want now is a guarantee more than anything is. Chuck walked away from me in the past. I afraid to put my whole heart in it in this time with that guarantee," I tried to explain.

"Sure puppy love or young love but not all love. Not the love you guys share… Blair the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you. He would never leave you. Not even if got a call matching him with someone else," Eric pleaded with me for his stepbrother.

"The thing about destiny Eric is that is predestined. We can't force fate's will." Eric eyebrows rose up as he realized that I was set about this.

"Are you going to tell Chuck about this?" he asked and I knew he was hurt.

"After the wedding, I will. I promise Please don't say anything," I asked of him and he nodded. He looked out the window.

"I am still not removing the stopgap. I love Johnathan. I am sure about that. I never have been so sure. Maybe that can inspire you to realize that being matched isn't the end all be all," he said.

* * *

"I am so happy that we are all able to be here to share in the wedding of Nate and my daughter Serena. I feel too young to be a Mother of the Bride but I am as someone who walked down the aisle a fair number of times I would like to give you two a bit advice. Enjoy tomorrow. Don't fret over anything. Just laugh, dance, and cherish tomorrow. When you two were matched so young I was nervous that Serena would not be able to enjoy and see the world as I did before I was matched. But two were able to learn and grow together and able to share a lifetime of memories already. I wish you many more memories and many more adventures to come," Lily said. We were all sitting at a table enjoying dinner.

Lily was hosting a simple affair in her and Bart's home. Only family and the wedding party attended. Lily, Bart, Eric, Johnathan, CeCe, and I were here for Serena while Nate's guest were his parents, and his grandfather and Chuck. However, the limited size party meant there was little room to escape from Chuck. After my conversation with Eric today I was in no mood to face Chuck. His left arm was around my chair and he was twirling a strand of my hair. As we clapped for Lily's cheer Anne stood up wanting to say something never wanting to be bested. Eric raised his eyebrows to me in a joking manner but his smile fell a moment later and I knew it was because of Chuck. I shifted forward in my seat away from Chuck my smile dropping. For awkward as I felt Johnathan and Eric were the picture of happiness.

"You okay?" Chuck asked as his hand came to rest on my shoulder. The strapless dress I wore made it so it felt like his hand burned into my skin.

My smile was tight as I nodded at him. "Fine."

"You sure you have seemed out of it all night," he whispered to me as we pretended to listen to Anne.

"Chuck don't hover. I said I was fine" I lashed out to soon. I did not mean to say it so harshly but the tension was building. He removed his arm from my shoulder. The smile on his smile changed to confusion as he pondered why I could be mad. I felt guilty for making him question himself. So I leaned in and told him "I am just feeling weird like I am losing something… someone. Married life is different. Things feel like they are changing." Pulling the hair form my neck, he moved to lay a soft kiss on my right shoulder.

"I'll be here. Always," he said. I nodded at him his words bittersweet eating away at me.

A bit later, I was standing with Nate discussing the honeymoon gift he had purchased today when Serena came giggling over to us. She had been drinking margaritas all night and was tipsy at this point.

"I wanna go out. Lets go out. Our last nights as single people," she said as she shimmied up to Nate. I giggled at her behavior and Nate smiled. Truth was I could use a few drinks. The tension I feel with Chuck was putting me on edge.

"We have to get up early tomorrow. You know the wedding and all," Nate said as he smiled at her antics.

"Please. Blair help me out here," she said switching tactics.

"We could go for a little bit," I suggested hoping Nate would give in to us.

"Go where?" Chuck asked as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I leaned into him enjoying his warmth as I wondered how many more times could I do this.

"Out to a club," Serena said now bouncing up in down eager making Nate laugh.

"We can go to one we own. I can get up VIP tables," Chuck suggested as he rubbed circles on my shoulder.

"VIP?" Jonathan came over as a talked with Eric leaving the parents and grandparents to talk alone.

"Yes, we are going out to club apparently tonight to celebrate the coming nuptials," Chuck explained.

"Perfect. Where and when?" Eric asked making Nate groaned as he realized that he had lost.

"Fine. In an hour and Chuck can pick the place. But please no one is complaining about hangovers or tired faces in pictures tomorrow," Nate announced making Serena cheer as a leaned up to kiss him.

"Come on Blair we need to convince my mom to wrap this up," Serena said as she pulled me out of Chuck's arms.

We all went out together that night. It was epic. We danced, we laughed, we hugged each other, and we drank all night long. It was the most fun I had had in the longest time. As Serena and I danced together on the table in the VIP section laughing and giggling about nothing as the guys drank talking in their own world until they took our hands pulling us down for more shots. We toasted and we cheered for tomorrow. When Eric and Johnathan shortly left to go dance on the main floor Nate ordered another round of shots promising it was the last one.

"To the Non-Judging Breakfast Club," he announced making us laugh bringing back sweet memories when we were best friends decades ago. The play dates, the pranks, the tears, the laughs that the four of us had before Chuck's departure left us with a missing hole in our group. As I moved my head back to take the shot, I wondered if five year old me knew this would happen. That the four of us would remain somehow always connected. That Serena and Chuck would become siblings by marriage. That Nate and Chuck would reconnect. And that one day Serena and Nate would be married. It is amazing that our friendship spanned decades. How we were able to be all together once again but I wondered what would become of all our friendship if I broke up with Chuck. I knew I needed to. But I just wanted to hold on to this moment a little longer.

* * *

 _The day he decided that he must leave her was one of the hardest in his life. By then_ _he had grown to love her with every fiber in his being. Never wanting to see her in pain or anguish, he knew he loved her even more each and every day that past. A few days prior, he while laying lazily wrapped in her body he read a gossip Girl post about Penelope's birthday party. It was then he realized that she was missing events at school to spend time with him. Not wanting her to miss out due to his self-imposed isolation, he ordered her to go out the next weekend to a classmate's party. He thought waiting for her to come back home was going to be easy but she had gotten dressed at Serena's and had dinner with friends so he was home along since she went to school that morning. The anxiety was increasing and he had no recollection to how he ended up in the lobby of the home that belonged to his drug dealer a wad of cash in hand. He only had a brief recollection of how he pawned one of Blair's necklace to earn the money to do so. His actions were shameful and he could never share this with her._

 _Only then in a moment of sober clarity did he realized how weak he was. He knew he needed to leave and right himself. He could not tell her because Blair would think she had failed him. He needed to find the right rehab to him for her. So he decided that he must leave her. He left her to believe that he left to travel Europe and Asia emailing her praying she would respond but he was actually in rehab trying to fix him for her. He realized by the time he was done with his rehab that she was over him. She never responded to his email and probably wanted nothing to do with him. But in a moment of weakness on his spiritual journey he called her to ask about his father. He knew then she was always going to be his guiding light. The one he would always return to._

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A.N: I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Blair's mood in the beginning is due to her happiness form the other chapter and then shifts after her conversation with Eric. Please review and let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the very long delay. I am planning on finishing this story up fairly quickly. There are only two chapters left. I hope people are still reading. I still truly enjoy the concept behind this story.

I am unsure if I responded to the reviews I reviewed. But thank you to the all the guest reviews. Chuck side will be revealed much more in the next chapter as well as more information about the company.

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The sky was clear. I knew it was going to be a beautiful day. One we will probably never forget. Now I only need to make sure the bride and groom were up but I still had a little more time to myself this morning. Serena and Nate were supposed to be in separate rooms this morning for traditional sake but Serena was feeling frisky last night and took a room at the Palace with Nate after our clubbing. I was supposed to wake them in half an hour to ready for the day. As much as love was in the air I was dreading having any conversation with Chuck regarding the state of our relationship. I snuck out of bed and into a shower rather than wake up Chuck this morning.

Suddenly his arms were wrapped around me. "Hey babe," he spoke into my neck after he pressed a soft kiss. "I missed you." He mumbled as he pressed closer to me.

"Chuck, your hair is still wet," I said pulling back from his embrace. He just laughed and moved away to grab coffee from the breakfast I had the ordered up.

"Ready for today?" he asked. He was wearing his dressing robe looking oh so very delicious.

"Yep," I was dressed and ready to drag my best friend to the suite that was rented out for the bridal suite.

"Yea but at least there won't be too much running around since I assume all the hair, makeup, and nails people are coming to the Palace. You make sure you are pampered as well. I am sure you are going to deserve it after dealing with the mother of the bride and groom," he teased.

"Yes true but nerves take over and what not so who knows how Serena is going to be this morning," I shrugged. I was pulled into Chuck's lap. Quickly he kissed me and before I knew it my hands were in his damp hair and his hands were moving over my body burning my skin as his wait.

"You left me this morning. I need to show you that you are not allowed to leave me without a proper kissed," he said after a moment.

"I believe we have kissed. Plus, the wedding," I whispered trying to pull away knowing I was going to be late and I took my duties as the maid of honor very serious. But he beginning unbuttoning my shirt ignoring my meek protest.

"This is the punishment for leaving me," he said with a wicked smirk that melt away all thought of the wedding. Suddenly I was lifted up and I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist. I pushed his robe off of him enjoying the feel of his skin.

"Fuck Blair," he mumbled as he pushed up my skirt and pulled my closer to him. He kissed my collarbone. "Right now just you and me," he grunted.

"Yes… you and me," I moaned back as we moved together in sync as one.

* * *

"The makeup artist is running light something about gridlock traffic coming from the Bowery," Lily announced to the room.

We were family on schedule and the lateness of the makeup artist would not have pushed us too far back but I watched Serena to make sure she did not tense up. We were helping her into her gown. After waking up the bride to be this morning we were swept up in a series of hair and nail artist as well as a masseuse. She was a fairly nice bride beaming with happiness and the day was moving smoothly. In only 90 minutes she was going to marry her soulmate.

"You look beautiful," Lily whispered and Anne agreed once the dressed with closed and zipped up.

"Mom don't make me cry," Serena giggled and made a face towards me and I smiled back.

The wedding planning came into the room to inform Lily and Anne that their makeup artist was stationed in the other room. Then it was just Serena and I. She grabbed my hands and laughed.

"Blair I am getting married," she all but yelled with a laughed and I smiled back. She twirled around the room until she took a seat on the bed. "Blair you are next and then we will be sisters!" she told me with glee.

"Chuck and I just started dating and sit up Serena. You can't wrinkle your dress," I told her.

"Oh Blair. He is so in love with you. I would be surprised if he did not propose by Christmas. Or on Christmas. How romantic," she said rambling on her predication.

"Doubt it," I confessed rolling my eyes.

"Blair. I know I wasn't for this a while ago but I see now that you can have your happily ever after and not all of our fates are written. You and Chuck are forging your own path and while it may be unconventional you two certainly never were one for all the rules," she smiled at me and suddenly my stomach was sinking. Serena changing her mind about Love matches. Something was wrong. Suddenly I recalled the magazine article about wedding bells in Chuck's future.

"S, do you know something? I asked hesitantly.

"B. Oh, B, you must be surprised when he asked. Apparently when Nate and Chuck left to run errands Chuck got you a ring. Isn't that amazing. I promise not to get prego so I can fit into my maid of honor dress," she gushed.

Nate's honeymoon gift that took the guy's five hours to purchase and meant Nate messed a pre-wedding facial made sense. The look of fear in my face must have been telling because Serena was up on her feet placing a hand on my shoulder.

"B, sweetie is everything okay? You aren't going to faint on me are you?" she asked her face uneasy and filled with concern. I tried to blink back the tears not wanting to damper her spirts. Gulping down my tears I nodded cursing the makeup artist who was running late.

"You are lying. Blair come tell me the truth. Wedding be damned," she said.

"You were right. I can't be with him. Not when he could have another… could have his soul mate out there. I love him so much S. I can't imagine loving someone as much as this. I want the best for him. I want him to have his one and I can't stand in the way of that…. And I want that for me too. I need to know he won't just walk away again not like he did last time. I can't stand for him to walk away especially if it was for someone else…I want what you and Nate have - does that make me selfish?" I asked as the tearing rolling down my face.

"No of course. I want that for you too. It will happen. I know it will," Serena the optimistic said hugging me to her.

"I hope so," I mumbled.

"What about Chuck?" she asked.

"After the wedding. Maybe tomorrow or the next day I will talk to him. Hopefully we can remain friends after everything. But don't worry about it Serena. Not today, okay?" I said trying to quickly end the conversation not wanting this day to be about me. She nodded before hugging me again.

* * *

The wedding was beautiful but the entire ceremony I stared at Chuck. He was gorgeous in his suit standing by Nate's stand. While we were up there I could not help but imagine our wedding – the one that would never occur- and how he would look standing there next to me. More than once he caught my stare and looked hungrily over at me. Which made me feel half aroused and guilty at the same time.

Now we were at dinner seated next to the couple on Nate's side rather than separate. Chuck hand was on my thigh as he kissed my neck.

"You look amazing. I can't wait to see you out of this dress," he whispered.

"Well hopefully you won't have to wait that long," I said back fully intending on enjoying the last days of us together as well as feeling the love of the moment. Weddings do that to you.

"Chuck it's almost time for your speech. Don't say the stupid joke," I informed when I felt his hand trying to find the slit in my dress. He chucked and rolled his eyes.

"I am a riot," he joked.

"Sick to the dry humor honey. It suits you," I teased.

But he stood up and begin to motion to the DJ as he picked up the mic that was handed to him by the wedding planner. Before he began he smiled at me and my guilt came back to pinch at me.

"Thank you for allowing me to interrupt your dinners. For those of you who do not know me I am Chuck and while my family owns this hotel so be sure to tip your valet's well," he said to laughter in the room especially from the older upper crowd. "Nate and I have been mates for years and I am happy to be back in New York to witness and stand by him as he married my wonderful slightly annoying sister," he said raising a glass to Serena and she winked at him. "You two have always been destined to be together ever since Blair, and the rest of us played pretend princesses and heroes in Central Park. We should have known then that you two were going to be together one day since you were the only two brave enough to try Central Park hotdogs. It is an honor to watch the two of you be so in love with each other.

But I what I think is most important is the way in which you two do not take each other for granted. In the months I have been back home I've watch you both love each other in the smallest ways. I am sure everyone who has spent time with the two can clearly see that you two are perfect each other and you guys have taught me that love is shown most importantly in the little things that you do for your partner. While your love may have been matched years ago there is no doubt that the love you share for each goes beyond that. It has only become stronger in the passing years. So let's raise our glasses to the Nate and Serena, true soulmates and should we all be blessed enough to find our own we should consider ourselves lucky if we found only half the happiness and love they share."

He finished off his speech to the applause of the crowd and I tried to smile at him and the rest of the party but the guilt I felt was intense. So I grabbed my champagne and quickly finished the drink off. One after another I drank glass after glass trying to wash away the dread I was feeling when it came to Chuck. Did he really wish to find his soulmate but then he wanted to marry me? It was cloudy my thoughts. Hi words echoed in my mind with every dance I had, ever drink, laugh and applause. 'Should we all be blessed enough to find our own we should consider ourselves lucky' but I wanted to ask if he considered himself lucky.

"Blair come on the flower toss. Its good luck you know," my mother said winking at me.

"Of course, I was heading over now," I lied with a smile and stomped away. Well as much stomping as you can do in Louboutins. I made sure I stood far away and it was certain that the flowers could land nowhere near me. After the brief scuffle took place I politely excused myself and found myself swept up into Chuck's arm.

"Chuck," I grasp at the surprised. "Shouldn't you be trying to get the garter belt?" I teased him.

"You are the only women I want to put lingerie on. Well actually I would like to take it off," he said with a dark smirk. The alcohol and his look made my skin heat up before he let me go. Clearing the air with a cough. "When can we go to our room Blair. It's only a few floors up," he whispered with a slight whine.

"We can't leave before the bride and groom," I stated once again but I wondered if we could find a coat closet somewhere.

"They better go soon. Matter of fact I should hurry Nate along," he grumbled.

"You will do no such thing. But maybe we can utilize another space or room. You did mention your family own the hotel," I flirted.

His eyes flared up and pulled me close to him to whisper in my ear. "The coat check should be empty. Five minutes." I nodded and he walked away in the hopes of not drawing attention to ourselves.

I walked my way around the room trying to spend my five minutes mingling but my thoughts were clearly elsewhere.

"Blair," Johnathan greeted me with a smile. Truthfully I was avoiding Eric today because of yesterday so I had little conversation with the Johnathan or his partner today.

"Hey, it's a great event, isn't it," I said not really engaging in the conversation.

"It is. And you and Chuck look amazing together," he gushed and I politely thanked him. "Eric and I admire your relationship so much. Really an inspiration," he complimented. I realized that Eric had not informed him that I wanted to break up with Chuck.

"We really are a normal couple," I said trying to diminish his praise.

"No to be together and so in love despite not matching. Eric and I are going to follow in your footsteps," he rambled on and it was clear that he too had enjoyed the open bar.

"Yes, yes. It is different I suppose. I have to run over to speak to Chuck about something," I said while already moving away from him. His smile never wavered it was clear he had no clue that I was trying to evade this conversation. I felt guilt associated with the fact that our relationship will no longer be a model for Eric and Jonathan and I wonder if they would survive without being matched by LoVECHrome.

It took me a matter of seconds to find the coat check that was unused since no one wore coats this warm summer. Quickly Chuck grabbed me and began to kiss me but my mid was swimming with my thoughts and suddenly continuing this for a moment longer seemed like too much to handle.

"Blair, what wrong?" Chuck asked pulling back realizing I was not matching his kisses or his touches. It was only when he brought his thump up to wipe the tears from my eye did I realize that I was crying. "Babe talk to me," he whispered.

"I can't do this Chuck?" I admitted trying to step back but his arms were still wrapped around me.

"Do what?" the confusion displayed on his face.

"This…. Us. I can't. I want to find my match. I need to find my soulmate." I begged he would understand.

"What! Blair what are you saying. You always said you never needed that. Blair… you can't be serious."

"I was foolish. We may have fallen in love but this can't last. We cannot sustain this." My fears out there. Chuck released me and looked in shock at my confession.

"Blair. Stop. Blair you are everything to me."

"No. Chuck you said it tonight you want to find your soulmate," I said reminding him of his best man speech.

"Wha… ? Blair you are my soulmate," he said grabbing my hands. I held my breath and steady my voice internally commanding my tears to stop.

"No Chuck. You may want that and I want that. I want that sooo bad but we aren't meant to be."

"You told me that you did not need that. You said you wanted to be in love! To fall in love and not told who to love. Blair," he kicked the wall in front of him. "Fuck!" His voice had grown beyond a yell and I wondered if party guest could hear us. I only hoped the music was loud enough to stop our voices from carrying.

"I love you. You need to know that. More than I have ever loved anyone. But I can't live with the fact that one day someone may call and be your soulmate or mine. How can we leave through that! I cannot have you walk away- again," my voice broke with my last word but I able to hold back the tears that wanted to fall.

"Blair you aren't thinking right. Come on," he said begging me as he tried to pull me to him for kiss I pushed him back.

"I am. I know you want to marry me and I can't have you ask because it would be too hard to say no."

"I do want to marry. I wanted to for almost ten years. But I waited until I was ready to come back. I wanted until you broke up with that fucking loser Dan until he was matched with Vanessa. Do you know how angry I was when you went with him to be matched!" his voice roared and his words stuck me hard.

"What?" I asked meekly confused by his words and what they meant.

"You and the losers dated. Can't you see that I-that you and I are better together-" he began and I interrupted him.

"Vanessa? I never told you her name. Chuck stop speaking! I never told you hear name," I said interrupting him. As it became clear that Chuck knew more than he should. "Chuck, Eric told me that you own a part of LoVECHrome. Did you… could you fake those result. Did you have Dan matched with someone else?" I asked the dreaded question.

"Did you actually think hat toad from Brooklyn could be your match. You think I would do that?" he sneered. The anger and hurt clearly on his face.

"But you do own a portion don't you? How do you know her name" I asked again.

"Yes! Yes, I do. I admit I keep tabs are you because I love you," he tried to explain.

"Chuck I don't know if I believe you," I admitted. The trust that we had before was shattered in a matter of moments.

"Blair you don't understand I am your soulmate. I am your love match. Our lovechromes match," his voice trailed off at the end.

I stared at him confused as to what he was saying.

"Chuck… that's impossible," I said.

"When I was 15 my dad paid so I can find out my love match. Blair it was you. Its's always been you." The softness of his confession and the honesty I saw in his eye made me believe him but even still there was no way he would hide that from me for so long. Right? If he did how could he. The loneliness I felt for years, all the men I dated, my thoughts of marriage and happiness offered made me depressed.

I stepped closer to him. "You are lying" I slapped him across his face. The anger making my bone shake. "How can you lie about such a thing," I demanded. Honestly, I rather have him lie to me about this then the truth be that Chuck hid this from me. Since the first moment we were together almost ten years ago, our first kiss, our first sexual act together, since he came back from London, he knew that I was his soulmate and he hide it from me. The truth was too much for me to handle.

"Look at me. Look at me. I am not lying. Blair… I… I didn't want that then. I was in no state to love you back then. Remember how I was," he begged me to see his viewpoint. But I couldn't.

"How could you? You walked away from me… how could- For basically ten years I struggled with this. How could… no this doesn't make sense," I said shaking my head.

"Listen to me Blair. Let's go upstairs and talk. I am your match. Please understand, baby. I was going to tell you," he pleaded.

"No. I need to go. Don't follow me. I can't. I can't. My soulmate wouldn't hide it for a decade. How could you even claim to love me?"

With tears streaming down my face and a bowed head I fled the Palace for my mother's penthouse. I crawled into my bed my dress still on as Chuck's words replayed in my head. There was no way that we were matched. No way. I thought back to when he left all those years ago. Slowly I got up and walked over to the guest room that Chuck occupied when he stood here back then. This was where I lost my virginity to him. I stared at the bed hoping I will find some understanding. Some guidance for this moment. But nothing came to mind. Slowly I let his words sink in and all that past tonight come back to me. He knew about Dan and Vanessa, he owned LoVECHrome and he was my soulmate.

* * *

 _He was lost. In drug fueled haze weary from struggling against the arms of his father's guard. Once more he was caught. Here he was in the midst of the night in an office building in downtown New York awaiting the results of his love match. His father, Bart was advised that having something to live for was a key motivation in kicking a drug habit. He laughed at the thought but was aware that he was not breaking free from the three armed guards. So slumped in the seat he waited. At fifteen he was already warned that he would not be 'officially' in the system and the date would be wiped. But the chances of actually being matched to a person was going to be rare. Instead he would probably be presented with a profile of a mostly for his future match._

 _The employee of LoVECHrome was tense as he reentered the quiet room with clutching his pad as then sat down in front of his computer to see if the result had come through. His grasp alerted Bart to take notice._

" _Yes?" a horse Bart asked tired from the day he spent searching the worse locations he could imagine for his son._

 _The man swirled the computer screen to show Chuck and Bart. There on the screen was an image of a young beautiful Blair Waldorf. The photo probably taken the day of her 16_ _th_ _birthday. She was the girlfriend of Chuck's best friend. She was perfect. He watched her for years and everything was more amazed by her. The large inflation he has suddenly made sense. Blair was the princess of the upper east side and Chuck slept basically in a crack house the night before. It was a riot. He would ruin her._

" _No!" he yelled jumping up from his seat throwing the papers, commuter, and everything else off the desk. The guard quickly grabbed him._

" _Chuck. Stop! What are you doing," Bart yelled embarrassed over the state of office._

" _Not her," the young man broke into tears. "Anyone but her! Not her. I destroyed everything. I would destroy her. Not her!" he yelled. Sober or high his words were never more true. As her match the best thing to do would be to stay away. Chuck Bass was sure he would destroy her._

* * *

A.N: I hope that this chapter met everyone's expectations. Yes, Chuck and Blair are matched but since his profile was wiped from the system that night it was not really in the system so Blair was no contacted. Chuck never went back to officially be in the system because he did not want to be with Blair that way. He wanted to fall in love with her and vice versa.

Also I debated having Blair have a conversation with Bart at the wedding but I went with Johnathan instead. But I want to squeeze Bart in somewhere but unsure if I will be able to.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters.

A.N Thanks for the response. I was so excited to see that people were still interested in the story. There is only one or two (unsure if it will need an epilogue) chapters left in this story.

I did not get a chance to respond to the reviews that were left so I am posting any answers/comments to any questions. But thank you so much for reviewing it really pushed me to spend time writing this week for you guys.

I am so happy that the reviewers were able to understand and accept the reasoning/motivation I created for the characters. I hope this chapter sheds some light into more of Chuck's mindset. I know that I have been asked for a POV from Chuck but I like writing him from a distance. Maybe if I write an epilogue I could include something about Chuck. iAlliegator, your comment persuaded me to rewrite this chapter. I originally had Blair talk to Bart over the phone for a quick conversation. Then I was intrigued by your question and I altered the chapter. Plus, you totally hit the mark on the head. The whole point of the story was that chuck and Blair were always meant to find each other but it was up to them to work out the rest i.e love is only part of a complete healthy relationship.

* * *

I woke up to light shoving into my shoulder. My eyes snapped opened I realized I had fallen asleep last night with my makeup still on and my bridesmaid dress. The underwire of my tight corset lingerie that I was supposed to surprise Chuck with was pinching my skin. But there was Serena with an angry look on her face.

"What are you doing here, S?" I asked not getting up not wanting to start the day.

"You weren't answering your food and neither was Chuck. I thought maybe you two were together. I came to see you to make sure you were alive since you left my wedding without even a goodbye," she snapped.

I groaned. Apparently the bridezilla comes out after the wedding. I wanted to feel guilty but all I felt was sadness over my breakup with Chuck last night. We did break up, right? I tried to go over the conversation in my head from last night but it only caused a headache.

"I am sorry, S. I – Chuck and I…" I trailed off not sure what to say. Plus, Serena should be boarding the plane to her honeymoon and not here. "What are you doing here? You should be re-joining the mile-high club right about now," I said finally getting up and walking to mirror to appraise my appearance. Yep I look like a mess.

"I wanted to find you. I was upset last night at you. But Nate told me he saw you leave the party upset and maybe crying last night so I came to check in on you. We were worried about Chuck and you. And I felt like something was wrong because I let his secret slip," she said touching my shoulder in comfort.

"Help me with this dress. Unzip me." I took a deep breath before answering her. "Chuck and I broke I think. I'll explain more later but you need to go seriously where is your husband?" I asked.

She beamed at the word husband. "Downstairs," she shrugged. I widened my eyebrows in shock.

"Serena! You should be having crazy sex right now. He is going to hate me forever," I groaned.

"Nonsense. He is concerned for you and Chuck too. We can't reach him, Blair. He isn't at your apartment," Serena said her cheerily tone dropping and suddenly the panic set in.

"Go downstairs. Did you have breakfast?" she shook her head no. "Have Dorota make all of us some and I will get ready quickly and we will figure where Chuck is at, okay?" I commanded.

"Okay, and B I know everything is going to be just fine," she said on her way out.

"I hope so." I quickly stripped off my clothes and jumped into the shower. Wrapping my hair in a bun I kept it out of the spray to save time getting ready. With the quickest and simplest makeup routine I was downstairs in seventeen minutes.

Pausing on the stairs away from Serena and Nate I called Chuck on his phone hoping he was would pick up my call. But nothing. No answer. It was ten in the morning. The man woke up at dawn every day in order to be up with the Asian markets. He should have answered. Long gone was the boy who partied from high school.

"Morning," I greeted my two best friends. "I called Chuck he didn't pick up?" I asked as I poured myself some French pressed coffee.

"Yea. He wasn't there. You two got into a fight last night," Nate asked. I bite my lip and nodded my head. "broke up?" he asked.

"I think so," I response.

"I hope he didn't relapse," Nate said voicing everyone's fears. My eyes widen at the suggestion. Chuck was stronger than that. He would not relapse.

"He wouldn't. It's been years," I said to wash away the guilt I was feeling at Chuck's suggestion. I knew it wasn't my fault. Addiction is so much more complicated than that. But I never tried to learn more about it than my crash course in caring for Chuck before and all of that was based on instinct.

"Not really," Nate said harshly. I snapped my gaze away from my cup of coffee to look at his hard stare. He blamed me. It wasn't my fault I wanted to yell. Chuck lied to me. He kept things hidden. But instead I couldn't help but ask what he meant.

"He hasn't done heroin since his recovery in India but when I was in London Chuck was becoming addicted to cocaine. Personally I always thought he had a problem with alcohol," Nate admitted and suddenly I felt silly for not knowing that. It seems like there was so much that Chuck never told me.

"But he still drinks?" Serena asked confused.

"Yea. I think he doesn't as a way to test his willpower or something. His counselor and doctors don't want him on it all but you know Chuck he challenges himself. As a businessman it's hard not have meetings over drinks and stuff. He says he isn't addicted to alcohol but it worries me because of his past history," Nate explained.

My eyes widened as I thought back to the past four months. Our first solo encounter at bar I can't remember him drinking. Then our first argument was the only time I seen him reach for a glass wine. I remember his haunted face that day. But yesterday and the day before he was drinking at the club and the wedding and he seemed fine. He had not overdone once in the past four months. But what is four months out of ten years of addiction struggling? The ten years he stole from me. How much did I really know him.

"Let's not jump to conclusions shall we? He has handled alcohol just fine these past months," I said silencing Nate. Just because Chuck was addicted to some things did not mean he was addicted to everything I told myself. I could have not missed that much. "I will find him. You two should get going," I told him not wanting to hold up their honeymoon any longer.

"No I want to help. I know I had no clue what was happening in high school and you handled that but I want to be there for him now," Nate announced and Serena quickly seconded.

"So what's the plan?" Nate asked. Where are you Chuck?

* * *

It was only an hour later and we were no closer to finding Chuck. Nate and Serena were checking his own hunting grounds and popular clubs. I was going through his business operations and now I was headed up to his office at Bass Industries. Since he was not yet fully incorporated into BI he was rarely ever here. But I was almost out of options. He was not back in the city that long and the few bars he went to were with Nate and I had not seen him or were not open yet. Suddenly all of Nate and Serena's fears were mine.

The security guard was a bit of a nuisance however once I showed him a few photos of on my phone of Chuck and I from Page Six from the gala describing me as his 'loving girlfriend' he let me up to the top floor. Being a Sunday the floor was empty there was no sectary and the office door was locked. I groaned as I tried the handle and tried to think of where else he could be.

"Blair," a gruff voice came from behind me.

"Sir,-ummm- sorr-have," I said stuttering for the first time in my life. Only Bart could scare me so. The countless events we attended this week alone together from Chuck's charity gala, the rehearsal dinner, the actual wedding. Stupid Blair. "Have you seen Chuck?"

"Is something wrong with Charles?" he said his voice filled with concern. Bart also clearly had changed so much from the man that he was when Chuck was in high school.

"I can't find him. We can't find him. Serena and Nate are also searching. I am worried," I admitted. With the admitted worry I felt the tears prick my eyes and a lump come to my throat. "I looked everywhere I knew and I was hoping he was here. Do you know where he could be?" I squeaked out.

"I am sorry I don't. He only comes in here on Wednesday when we have lunch," Bart explained. "Did you try the office he has in midtown?"

"Of course," I said. His private office was the one that he spent the most time at dealing with his own personal investment. I had a key to that office. It was the first place I checked.

"How about his hotel that he is opening on the East River?" he asked.

"Saint Charles on the River? Yes, the foreman on the site said it was quiet and no one was there," I explained.

"Come into my office. Let's try to think of where else he could be," he offered and I fearfully followed after him.

"Forgive me for asking but did you two get into a fight yesterday? And would he think he was at fault for it," Bart asked.

I looked at him in shocked and stumbled over my response. "Umm yea… I think so."

"Hmmm," he nodded and rubbed his chin in thought running over in his mind where Chuck could be. Even he probably knew Chuck so better than I did. Chuck was a stranger to me. Surprising me Bart started to speak explaining his view of his son.

"I believe Chuck tends to self-isolate when he is down and blames himself as a form of misguided guilt. Self-isolation is fine to remove himself from drugs but I think he removed himself from the people he loves because he thinks it will make their lives easily and he is compensating for some wrong that he committed. I think that's why he left New York for so long. He was atoning for the past mistakes of his youth," Bart explained his voice trailing off at the end of his speech. I nodded along since his interpretation rang so true in my mind. But I had no more to contribute and we fell into silence for a while. It was a comfortable silence however something I never thought I would have with the billionaire business man.

"Bart, is it true that you took Chuck to get love matched when he was fifteen?" I asked trying to get everything out into the air. I needed to know if Chuck was telling me the truth last night. He mentioned Bart took him and I figured he was the only witness I could question. Bart sharp intake of breath told me what I needed to know.

"Yes," he paused if he was considering what more he should say. He looked at me judging probably wondering what I knew. I guess he received his answer because he started to speak again. "So he told you and you were mad. It's understandable. Let him explain it to you. I may not agree either in him keeping it from you but he has his reasons… I'll never forget that day. He was livid that you two were matched and I think for a long time he was angry that you two were matched because he thought you were worth so much more than him. So he finally came back home to date you I knew he was finally healing and beginning to realize that he someone special. But Blair you need to help my son the rest of the way. You helped him to recover. I tried for years and all it took was your compassion and suddenly he wanted to get him for himself. I was hoping that since you two are back together again that now he will be able to move forward and finally leave all that past in the past."

I looked away in shame. Chuck was it. He was the person I would have spent my life searching for. I was his. I was his guiding light through his darkness and he was mine. Suddenly Bart word reminded me of one place I had failed to check.

"I think I need to check the site of the addiction recovery school," I said out loud.

"But it is not yet his," Bart said.

"Yea but I think he would have had the key. The purchase from the city is nearly approved," I offered jumping up. I was filled with so much energy that I think I surprised Bart when I half ran half jumped around the table to kiss his cheek in thanks.

I sent a text to Nate and Serena to informed that I was searching one last place but I was out of ideas after that. But I could not help but feel the hope swell up in me at the thought that he could be at the school. We were able to enter into a deal with the board of education to take over one of their empty schools that was scheduled for demolition at a low price that the charity could afford with the promise that Chuck will purchase another crumbling property at a higher market rate. But all that mattered was that the Bass Recovery Foundation was able to purchase a building that they could quickly convert into a state of the art high school. It was a vision that we described in the dead of night to each other sharing that. Sharing in Chuck's dream made me filled me with pride and I was excited that we were making each other stronger. That feeling now seemed so far away.

I exited the cab when I arrived I looked at the brick building. It was at least four floors and I honestly did not know if he was here or where to look. I walked around the building to the back. I saw a town car parked on the side street and with a license plate I recognized. It was Chuck's town car. As I walked closer to the car I realize that Arthur was slumped sleeping in the car. That would explain why he did answer his phone when I called. I knocked on the window startling him. Arthur was Chuck's driver when he was in high school but after he was gone Chuck told me that Arthur continued working for the Bass fleet of limos until Chuck requested him from his father with a town car. The stretch limo was gone and it was replaced with Cadillac XTS. He was getting older but he was always loyal. He rolled down the window.

"Miss Waldorf," he said obviously.

"Morning. Is Chuck in there?" I asked pointing to the window behind me.

"He went in around 4 am and I was waiting for him to come out. But I obviously fell asleep. I am not sure if he exited.

"I am going to check. Rather go home and rest. I'll make sure Chuck takes a yellow cab home," I told him.

"I am not sure. Mister Bass really should be the one who excuses me," he said weakly. I could tell he was tired.

"I am sure. He will understand. Go home eat a good meal and sleep in a bed," I encouraged him. He nodded and started the car.

More sure that Chuck was inside I found the closer door and push it happy to find it unlocked. I saw footprints in the dusk on the staircase and followed them up the third floor. I was really hoping he is being in here since this place was dark and creepy. The footprints stopped at the third floor stairway but disappeared in the hallway. I looked into the classrooms I passed to find them empty and dusty. Suddenly I was standing in front of the school office where the principal office is at. I pushed the door opened. On a dirty old probably moth infested sofa Chuck was there. Sleeping.

Softly I touched his shoulder but he did not stir. So I shocked him a bit harder. His eyes opened and it took him a moment to understand where he was. I was afraid to make eye contact with him so instead I ran my eyes over him and his clothes. He was still wearing his best man tux. Quickly I looked at his eyes. I was happy to see that his eyes were not completely bloodshot and he did not seem to be high or hungover.

"Blair," Chuck breathed out and I looked up as if him saying my name commanded it.

Brown met brown. There were no fireworks, the world did not open up for me, there was no difference in the way I felt when I looked at him. The same fullness and with a heart filled with love was what I felt yesterday, today, and I knew I would feel that forever. LoVeCHrome did not instantly change what I felt. They couldn't tell me who to love because I already loved him. I was always supposed to love him. Love his strengths and his weakness. All of him the way he loved me. I looked away when the feelings became overwhelming.

"You're here," he said as if he could not believe it himself.

"Of course Chuck. I was worried about you. We were worried. In fact, Nate and Serena still have not left for their honeymoon. They are looking for you too," I explain standing up and taking the time to look around the room and not at him.

He groaned. "I was only gone for a few hours" he groaned obviously annoyed at our actions.

"Well you have your people who care about you. I even went to see your father," I explained trying hard not to ramble.

"I just… Last night was- "he began as he moved to sit up but was cut off as a plastic vile rolled off of him or out from under him on to the floor until it stopped close to my feet. Having partied plenty in my life I recognized it as coke. I am not saying I never tried it because I had however that was to party with friend not to do alone in an old office.

"Chuck- "was all I could say as I grabbed it off the floor. How little did I know about him? Did I drive him to this?

"Blair! I didn't. I swear. I think I brought it when I was drunk last night…" he voice trailed off as I held out the vial to the sunlight coming into the room which was the only light source in this dark and musky room. "but I don't remember doing it. It-it looks full," he finished off with les energy as I failed to make eye contact with him.

"How much do you remember?" I scowled at him.

He groaned. "Blair why are you even fucking here? You broke up with me that means you don't get to control my life anymore."

"How could you. In all places how could you do this here. How could you bring drugs into here?" I questioned weakly.

"It was the only place I could think of that I haven't yet tainted. It was the only place where I thought I would be able to stop myself… Blair I don't know if you understand me or ever will. I am an addict. I will self destruct. I hurt people. I will always hurt people. You were right to break up with me. I dirty everything I am around."

I rolled at his word unable to find the right way to respond at the moment. I knew he was trying to push me away but there was no way I was not going to have a real conversation about this. But not here. I turned quickly to leave the room. Without a word and filled with anger and confusion I stomped quickly to find a restroom in which I could flush this down the toilet.

"Where are you going?" he asked as he followed close behind me. I still said nothing but he must have understood what I was doing because he said nothing as I threw it into the toilet and pushed my foot on the metal stick of the industrial toilet. But nothing happened.

"The water is off in the building, "Chuck said quietly.

I groaned in frustration throwing my hands up into the air. "Of fucking course because everything is going brilliant today." I began walking away from the bathroom toward the stairwell when I realized that Chuck was no longer following me. I turned around to find him staring at me as he leaned against the wall. A dark stubble was appearing on his cheeks and the hallway was dark with limited windows. His hands were in the pocket of a suit that was a day old but he still looked amazing to the point where I wanted him here thrown up against a dusty metal locker.

"chuck?" I squeaked out afraid of what he was thinking. His dark eyes stared into me. We were about ten feet apart but suddenly it felt wider it felt like I would not be able to reach him. It came back to me the day that he left my in New York penthouse all those years ago. Tears sprung to my eyes as I thought of the 16 year old self so young and so in love. I half thought I only feel in love with chuck all those years ago because I was trying to spite LoVECHrome for ruining my relationship with Serena and Nate. But that was not true. This here. Us this was the truth. We were in love but did that mean we should be together.

"Nate told me about the cocaine thing in college. Last night did you-" I took a deep breath unsure how to continue. "Was it because of me? Did I cause you to stumble back into this?" I needed to know. For as much as he believed that he tainted me I believed that I tainted him. That my behavior was irresponsible because I did not fully understand Chuck's illness.

He walked over quickly to me until he was standing in front of me.

"Don't ever think that. Fuck Blair. I came here because this place reminds me of you. Of the way you save me. I dedicated this place to you because without you I would have already been dead," he confessed.

"If I meant that much to you why" my tears sprung up and my voice cracked. "why did you leave me?" I asked as I cried nine-year old tears. I cried for my past self and for all my lonely years.

He grabbed hold of me and held me tightly against his chest whispering to me that he was going to make up for it if I let him, how much he loved me, how he could never live without again knowing now how good we are together. Finally, when I was able to stop crying he pulled back looking at me intensely searching my eyes for something. I am not sure if he found it but he began to kiss the streaks of my tears wiping them away.

"I am so sorry baby. I shouldn't have left. I need to explain more to you," he said as pulled back still holding me at arms left.

"I am sorry I couldn't save you back then. Not in the way I thought I did, Chuck. I wanted to fight away your demons with you ever since high school and I taught we did. But I guess I was wrong. You are still fighting them aren't you?" I whispered

"Blair, you did save me. But I am broken beyond fixing."

* * *

 _He wasn't sure if he was ready for this but decided it was time to stop running. After the realization came to him that he was not truly being fair to Blair or himself he went to find her. He was finally capable of loving someone and he was beginning to love himself. The VanderBass family vacation in Thailand had just wrapped up and Serena let him know that Blair was in the city interning at W. He tracked her down the whole day watching her walk around the city performing a dozen errands. She was so free here and seemed so happy against the city. Chuck knew what that felt like. London was finally becoming home for him. She went into a coffee shop and he told his driver to let him off. Walking to the window he saw her. She was sitting with her back to the door. Wanting and needing to be in the same room as her after all these years he slipped in deciding that he would take the risk._

 _The man she was sitting with was Dan her new boyfriend. Like all the others in the past he thought painfully. But he wanted to stop that. He was here to put an end to all of that. He was finally at a place in his life were he felt solid. He was sober. Free of heroin and eighteen months clean of cocaine. He was stable. Well as stable as he was ever going to be, he thought. He got his degree from Oxford and was debating staying in London for his masters. But if Blair wanted him to be in New York City he would be for her. Whispering to the coffee barrister he asked for an Americano trying to imitate a British accent just in case Blair heard and looked back at him too soon._

 _Waiting for his order he was able to stand closer to Blair and her new beau._

" _I am so tired of this company being in the news. Self righteous lab coats," the hipster looking boy told Blair as he through a copy of the Post across the table. LoVECHrome was expanding their market to Asia. Chuck just made millions. He was well on his way to being a billionaire._

" _Dan. I get it we hate them. I know I do too. But that is why we are performing our own resistance. Our resistance of love," Blair said to the man shocking me._

" _I love you," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her._

" _I love you more," she giggled before his lips touched his. Shock, hurt, and confused he left._

 _He loved her because he was meant to. He was born to. Stepping into his car he realized that he may love her but she moved on. She wasn't waiting for him. She was in love with another man. A man that was his polar opposite._

 _The problem with not listening to LoVECHrome about who to love you could end up with the wrong person._

" _Sir, where to?" Arthur questioned Chuck._

" _Anywhere. Anywhere but here," Chuck answered._

* * *

A.N I really wanted to include Dan in this story. I originally planned for Dan and/or Vanessa to bump into Blair to push her in the direction of accepting her soulmate. But I altered that plan. But I wanted Dan to having a speaking portion at least since he was mentioned a couple of times. I thought it this added a layer to Chuck motivation since he came for Blair roughly 2 years later. And he is surprised over her attachment to Dan thus when he discovers that they had broken up he comes back to New York.

The next chapter everything is going to come to light. Blair and Chuck will have a real conversation about what is going on with them. Yes, Blair knows Chuck is her soulmate but that doesn't mean that everything is all good. They still have nine years of history to review. We are almost done.


	8. Chapter 8

A.N The last chapter in the set. The ending was not what I expected to happen. In fact, the original ending was very different however the chapter took a different turn. However, there were some lose ends that I feel like this chapter did not clear up. So if there are any questions that anyone feels are unresolved let me know. I will try to clear these things up in the epilogue.

The flashback in this chapter is not a Chuck memory because I felt like this chapter was Chuck heavy. It was the most I think I wrote from him in this story.

Some chapters are dialogue heavy while other are action heavy. This chapter is DIALOGUE heavy. I really wanted to convey a conversation between a couple and not a monologue from Chuck in his explanation so there I some fluffy back and forth between Blair and Chuck.

* * *

We arrived back at the apartment that we shared for months. However, there was a seriousness weighing us down that mostly left us in silence. I thought that when I discovered my true match I would feel whole however I felt the same. The fullness and love I felt did not change. It was just as strong then as it was before I discovered it. Now my only concerns were why Chuck kept this from me and there was a small doubt that made me wonder if Chuck spent so much time away because he didn't want to love me.

I glanced at his face as he walked out of the elevator into the threshold of the apartment. He looked tired and was in need of a shower. Before I could encourage him to go wash Serena and Nate were rounding the corner and Chuck was enveloped in a hug from Serena.

"Shouldn't you be on your honeymoon," he groaned as he tried to lightly push her away.

"Well next time don't disappear on us," she reprimanded.

"I was 'missing' for less than twelve hours. It's not like you called the police" Chuck said while he laughed at Serena. The red in her cheeks gave up her actions.

"You didn't seriously call them did you," I groaned making Nate laugh.

"I was concerned," Serena tried to explain away but from the look on her face I could tell she was feeling guilty because she believed that the secret she slipped to me must have caused our fight.

"I told her not to call. But we should get going. The jet is on standby," Nate reminded Serena making Serena roll her eyes.

"I needed to check up on my brother. Hey-" she said slapping Nate's chest "Chuck is your brother in law now so that makes him family," Serena said glaring at her husband.

"Hey Chuck," Nate said with a smirk as he pulled Serena closer to him.

"Yes Nathaniel."

"Are you alive and kicking?"

"Well I am about to kick something or someone out," Chuck joked making Nate and I laugh again.

"Hey you better get use to Serena's over reaching if you are living in the city again," Nate warned as he affectionately kissed Serena's temple.

"Time to get going wife," Nate mumbled to her but I overheard.

"Okay husband. We have a club to rejoin," she winked a lot less quiet than Nate.

"Please tell me you are not taking the new jet. I wanted to be the first to have sex on it," Chuck jokily whined. Serena stuck out her tongue at him. I sat back and enjoyed the sibling in fighting that was occurring between the two.

I took their teasing for simply friendly banter but now I realized the closeness between the two. Family vacations and Nate and her travels to Chuck's home every summer. I was once again brought back to the fact that Chuck and I have had lost so much time. All these years apart. How much he was the same boy I always loved and how much he had changed. Watching I stood away from their group feeling very much the outsider as they joked and laughed about the honeymoon. Certainly they were both in too good a mood to even roll their eyes at Chuck's joke and instead laughed along with him. Finally, they began to say their goodbyes and I finally rejoined them as I stepped forward to say my good byes to them as well.

They were almost out of the room before Nate turned back surprising even me when he went to hug Chuck. I was close enough to hear him tell Chuck how he would be there for him no matter what. There was more said but I stood back letting them have their moment again.

Finally, we were alone. In the empty room watching the elevator lights until it singled that they were on the ground floor again. Chuck turned to me his eyes begging me to stay. He was still afraid that I was going to leave him.

I wanted to stay something to reassure him however all I blurted out was "I am sure that you would want to shower."

He nodded and turned until he was on the threshold of the hallway. Turning he looked back at me "you are going to be here when I get back right?" he asked.

I nodded weakly and I could tell he did not believe me. But rather than push the point he just nodded and again as he took a deep breath and walked towards the bedroom. I instead walked to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. Idly I walked about the apartment swirling the glass about. Finishing off my glass I decided to pour myself another until I stopped myself. Two glasses would certainly make me a little less cautious when we finally had a conversation. But I chucked the concerned and poured myself another glass. A loose tongue would not be the wore thing because it was better than freezing up and not fully saying all I needed to say.

"Blair," I heard Chuck call to me breaking the silence in the room. Turning back to see him in a robe his hair wet and his feet bare. Chuck was usually compete dressed outside of the bedroom. Him like this was a rare treat.

"Would you like a glass?" He shook his head no. I stared further at him. "So you are my soulmate?" I asked straight out. He nodded as he studied me closely. Finally, I turned away from his gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. "Why didn't you tell me ten years ago. Or sooner. Fuck Chuck. We could have been like Serena and Nate now. Already married starting a life together! All this time I was convinced that you didn't even love me anymore when you left. And you left. You left me. Chuck… I," I stopped speaking not wanting to completely break down at the moment. Maybe the wine was not such a good idea. Raising my stare a bit to catch his eye towards the end of my speech he stepped forward to closer to me. He reached out grabbing my hand.

Lifting my fingers up to his lips with a look of remorse he said, "There is so much I wanted to say. So much I have been hiding I suppose. But I had my reasons Blair. I swear it was with the best intention that I… you see I needed to leave back then," he begin. "I need to show you something," he said interrupting himself.

I nodded at what he said. Gently holding my hand, he walked with me to the bedroom and then into the shared master closet. Without a word he let go of my hand and searched through his belongings. Finally, he appeared with a small jewelry bag. Opening it he reached in and pulled out a necklace. He handed it over to me. It was a silver necklace with sapphire stones. It felt familiar somehow. Running my hands over it trying to place where I had seen it before.

"It was yours," he said.

"What?" I asked confused.

He leaned against shelf.

"I was fifteen when my father took me to get love matched. He thought the notion of a love match would set me straight. Blair when the lab guy said it was you I flipped out. I don't think I ever gotten so mad before. I destroyed the entire office"

"- you didn't want to be matched to me!" I interrupted him.

"No. No I am not saying that," he soothed over my fears. "I was shocked. You were dating Nate at the time so that was a bit shocking for me. But I always admired Blair. Even back then you were a force to be reckoned with. So beautiful, so smart yet somehow so pure. You were such a light in our world. I was so fucked up at the time I had no ability to focus on anything for too long. But I always saw you. Always," I left him pull me closer until we were in an embrace. I heard him deeply inhale my scent making me shiver.

"Did you really?" I teased.

Throwing his head back he groaned making me giggle. "I was so bloody jealous of Nate at the time. Plus, the dreams I had of you in high school with that cute plaid miniskirt. I am pretty sure every guy jerked off to you at least once," he said pinching my waist in time with his dirty joke. I laughed as I slapped his chest hushing his remarks.

"Go on Chuck. You have to finished. You still haven't explained this," I said holding up the necklace that at some point apparently belonged to me.

Chuck instead gestured with his head for me to follow him out into the bedroom. So I did until we were seated in the seating area of our master bedroom. The black leather chaise was the perfect combination of both our styles.

"So I was afraid when I was matched with you. I was certain I would ruin you. All my darkness and all your light. So after I flipped out in the LoVECHrome lab I was shipped off to the rehab. The last rehab my father sent me to before he disowned me. Then I came back to New York after paying my way here with the little money I had left. I came back to die here Blair."

It was the first time he ever told that to me. I grabbed him hand in a show of comfort. "Ch-uck," my voice cracking at the thought of him dying. I lifted his hand to kiss the back of it unable to find the word I wished to share.

"I used the last of my money to buy some smack and I took it all and sat on a bench to die in Central Park. I wanted to stick it to my father. To die in New York only two weeks after he sent me away. It was my last fuck you to him. Then you came into view. I thought I had died already when I saw you in the park. You took my hand," he said as he drew circles into the back of my hand. I smiled at him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"And I followed you. I thought you were an angel coming to take me. Silly now but I was a mess than. I don't really remember the rest or the following nights. Suddenly when I came to I realized that my tolerance was higher than I originally thought or maybe my sealer cheated me but either way I cheated death. Then you helped me off my high as best you could. I barely remember those moments when I was dying for a hit and I don't even want to know all the horrible things I probably said to you in those moments. But then again it was the easiest withdrawal I ever experience. Still painful but you were there singing lullabies to me, feeding me, soothing my nightmares, watching over me. If I didn't love you before than then I certainly did after. I was mad with love. I suddenly wanted to live for you. I thought of telling you then that I loved you. I thought maybe if I did that you would somehow fall for me too." This was the most we have ever discuss those dark days. Certainly it was not easy but I had a one track mind and ensuring that he would be better.

"I did fall in love with you then too, Chuck. When you were finally able to have conversation it was only then how much we were the same in so many ways. You were never dark. Never to me. You always made me smile and mad me fill lighter. Lighter than air. You were- you are what makes me actually a good person," I tried to explain to him. He leaning over kissing me deeply. I had forgotten the purpose of the conversation until Chuck pulled back and told me he needed to stop before he got further distracted.

"For a while, I thought maybe I was imagined the whole LoVECHrome thing. I was so doped up at the time. Plus, I did not know if you would believe me if I told you without any proof. I knew you thought I was a sleaze and would probably try to use as a way just to sleep with you. I figured I would wait until my 16th birthday to be tested and we could do the whole thing officially. By then you had explained how much you hated the whole process and how you just wanted to fall in love with someone. I wanted to give you that. But I didn't know how to love someone. I couldn't even show my face in the city and I had no money to give you anything. I was wearing your father old clothes. I had nothing. But I knew you had feelings for me to after we had sex. It was unlike anything I ever experienced. Being with you only made me want you more. I craved you. Suddenly you were like my new drug. We spent so many hours together but enjoying each other. I felt complete for the first time in my life. I wanted for nothing for the first time in my life even though I was sleeping in a borrowed bed, with borrowed clothes and no money to my name just because you were by my side. But I wanted to spoil you with things. You deserve the best of the best So I grateful when Cyrus began helping me with the release of a small portion of my trust because my original attention was to spend it on us," I moved closer to him kissing him lightly wrapping my arms around me.

"Chuck the money I nice. It's really really nice but I don't care for it. I know it sounds silly and so plebeian but those days in bed with you were some of the happiest in my life. You did make me fall in love with you. Twice. More than twice. Over and over again. With all the little things you do for me. It was silly to think that LoVECHrome would only take all the romance away. You are so attentive and amazing romantic I shouldn't have ever worried about such a thing," I confessed making him smile as I tried to move even closer to him.

"I am not romantic," he huffed and he pulled me onto his lap kissing my neck making me giggle.

"Yes you are. I wouldn't tell anyone your secret," I pushed him back knowing we were never going to get to the end of his story at this rate. Running my hands through his hair that was now dry and unstyled falling over his forehead.

"So there is no threat of you leaving me?" he asked and I could see the fear that still lurked beneath his eyes.

"No. Last night without you was terrible. But there are still more questions you need to answer. And Chuck… I don't know… I don't know if I am ever really going to be able to forgive you. Not for the years you took from me- from us," I tried to explain. He rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"I understand that. I do. I want to make it up to you. Blair. I promise I will for the rest of our lives. Baby, I was just so… I should finish the story," he said laying a kiss on my shoulder. I nuzzled into him closer. His arms were wrapped around me, head in the crook of his neck craving the safety of being in his arms.

"Then one day I remember a Gossip girl blast about some important party that night but you spent that night with me instead. I realized how much of your days I was stealing and how little of your friends you were seeing. Gossip Girl was even assuming that you were just jealous and sad about Nate and Serena getting together. So I encouraged you to go out to someone's birthday party the following Friday. I was stuck in your apartment for so long. You were gone the whole day for school, and you hung out with the girls, and then the party. Before I knew it I stole your necklace the one I showed you. I pawned it off and took the money to my dealer."

I thought carefully about the necklace. I barely remembered it. It was hardly anything that was to my taste. But maybe it was from a wacky relative or one of Nates silly gifts. Even still I knew how desperate he must have gotten if he would steal from me. The shame in his eye told me enough.

"I realized then how sick I still was. I needed-I wanted to be better for you. When I got the money released I brought back the necklace. It was the first thing I did. Then I left to a rehab in India. Much more alternative and spiritual then my father had been sending me to. I had a sudden turn to believe in the spiritual after you saved me, my guiding light," he said kissing my pulse points. "It's sill but I guess I got religious after that chance encounter in the park with you. I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to wait. I didn't know I was actually going to get better. But I knew I couldn't come back until I was clean really clean. And until I could prove to myself that I could run a business empire. I wanted to be the man worthy of Blair Waldorf."

"But I was so hurt when you left. Chuck. You broke my heart. I thought you didn't love me or even care for me. It was so sudden for me. You got the money released from your trust and suddenly you were gone. I thought I meant nothing to you. I thought you got what you wanted and I was just another girl you slept with," I confessed to him hiding my face in his neck as a few tears for my younger self slipped out.

"Blair, Blair. Never. I am so sorry you felt that way. I just needed to fix myself. I couldn't have told you I loved you before I left. If you didn't love me it would have destroyed me and if you said you loved me I think I would have been selfish enough to stay," he admitted.

"I would have gone with you," I mumbled quietly. I barely even realized I said it. I felt Chuck kiss the top of my head and then he tilted my head up to look me in the eye.

"My love, my sweet love, I was… so messed up. I was certain I was going to destroy you. But I would have adored to roam all around the world with you. You always saw the best in me even then. Through all the fucked up shit you saw through it. I only wish I was brave often maybe then to tell you all this. I just couldn't believe you loved me not the way I loved you. But you did love me the same didn't you," he asked. I nodded before leaning up to kiss him to soothe away all those pat hurts and aches.

"But why did you stay away for so long?" I finally asked.

"I spent the first year in rehab and mending my relationship with my father. You never even responded to my emails or messages in the beginning. But then I called you before I reached out to my father and I that conversation pulled me along for a while. You were so happy to be in school I decided to enroll. I got into university and I was busy with my business. After that the years just flowed along so fast. But I thought about you all the time. I thought I was ready to come back at one point but I got hooked on speed in order to manage my investments and course load at school. I was convinced I was just damaged at that point. My therapist said I was just using excuse because I was afraid of what would have happened if I came back and you didn't want me anymore. For all those years you were the thing that keep me pushing myself. If I lost that hope I was afraid I would unravel again," he tried to explain.

"Chuck it just feels like so much lost time. Plus, why couldn't you tell me sooner that we were matched?" I asked.

"I came back at one point about eighteen months ago. You were with Dan. I overheard you say you love him. It hurt like nothing I ev-" I stopped with a kiss.

"What I felt for Dan was only an ounce of what I feel for you. We got along well enough had a lot of the same interest but no one wants to date themselves. When he was matched with someone else it was a relief because I was still hoping that you were my match. Remember when you told me that you were going not going to be matched? I thought you never were so I hoped that you still my soulmate even then," I tried to explain to him.

I could tell he was trying to understand but it was not as easy for him to see why I would tell Dan I loved him. I knew from previous conversations Chuck never really had a girlfriend before me. He never came close to loving anyone else. And the thought of him loving someone else did hurt so I could imagine how it must have felt for him to overhear that.

"Why did you know about Vanessa and Dan?" I asked him still a bit confused as to where his knowledge came from.

"One of the VP's in Pairing knew I looked into your profile and into Dan's to see if was tested. So when he made his appointment I was notified. That's all. I did not alter anything. I promise," he confessed to me. I could tell her was being honest with me so I did not push it further. "I was coward for leaving after I heard you and Dan in the coffee shop. And I was tired of being the coward when I came back this time. I thought I was being brave trying to make you fall in love with me. I thought it was what you wanted. As soon as we met again the electricity between use was palpable and we just took off like it haven't been years between us. I was trying my best to be perfect. I thought we were happy these past months. When you said no my proposal last night I was shocked. I thought I did everything you wanted," he confessed.

"When I discovered you had been matched and I assumed naturally not to me I tried not to care but it ate at me slowly. I just couldn't say yes not when I had the thought that you could have a soulmate out there who wasn't me. I couldn't bear the thought of losing again. I was playing the coward when I said no," I admitted to him peppered his face with kisses. Playing close attention to his beautifully shaped jawline.

"Love, does that mean" he began before I covered his mouth with my palm in an effort to stop his impending question.

"You are not asking to me marry you right now in a bathrobe. What will I tell the grandchildren," I asked completely seriously but I could feel his smile beginning under my palm making me giggle.

"Okay okay. But I will have you know it is going to be the most amazing proposal ever," he boasted.

"Oh and I thought you weren't a romantic," I teased.

"I love romancing you into my bed," he smirked as he began to nibble on my neck.

"Ah so is that all this is a quick tryst," I bantered back at him.

"Yea I am only hoping you are free for say the next hour or," he mumbled as he continued to kiss me and began to move his hands across the zipper in the back of my dress. "about the next say 700,000 hours?" he asked as he picked me up from the bed.

My mind tried to work out the math as I agreed to his proposed 700,000 hours. In the end I decided it was just a number he threw out there. It wasn't until after we made love a half a dozen times into the early morning after both taking the day off from work that I asked him.

"So do you actually know how long 700,000 hours is?" I asked.

"That was bloody hours ago love. If I hadn't made you forgot that than I have not been doing my job properly," he joked.

"So you don't know," I mumbled trying to do the division in my head but I dazed and tired from the lack of sleep.

"You are such a nerd," he mumbled against my hair as he pulled me close to him. "It's about 80 years give or take. 700,000 sounded better than saying 700,800," he mumbled.

"My Chuck, the math whiz," I teased him. He of course was good with numbers working with such large figures every day, the multiplication probably came easy to him. "Or should I say nerd."

"Never my love that. I am not a nerd. I just wanted to be precise in how long I could keep you."

"Forever. I am yours forever," I told him before kissing him softly.

"I promise I am not going anywhere. Never again. Not even business trip for longer than seven days. I can't live without you anymore."

"Dramatic much?"

"No just in love with you. Don't you know we are made for each other? Matched for each other since before we were even born. It is written in our DNA love. There is romance in that isn't there?"

"The idea that we were meant to be together yes. But I think in a world without matching we would have found each other. My feelings for you began long before I knew I was your match. The match only reinforces the idea I suppose," I told him. He was silent for a while before he spoke.

"Blair, I am sorry I wasn't stronger- wasn't a better person. If I would have never gotten addicted I wouldn't have robbed, you -us of those years together. I would have been matched on my 16 birthday and we would have been together and probably already married with the right china pattern picked out and the townhouse of your dreams with so many babies," he whispered.

It then I understood that he felt my frustration. He understood my anger from earlier. It was angry that we did not have those years together.

"You are strong. So strong for kicking your habit, for building your own empire, for taking over your fathers, and for coming back to me. Your strength is amazing," I told him before leaning up to kiss him again.

" _Blair what are you doing?" Serena asked her friend as she was bored during their free play. The Whitney prep school for kindergarteners was intense. Two language classes, art, English, music, and dance were intense for the young minds. Both they were the 'future' generation and preparing for Harvard was on all the teachers and parent's mind. So the one hour of free play right after naptime was to be used wisely by the students. It was the only time their energy was uncaged._

" _I am going over in my head a list of my last name with the present boys to see who I should marry. Mommy says it never too early to build for your future," she explained to her friend. She wished she could make a list like her mother but it was out of her spelling range so she made a mental one instead._

" _Gross," Serena exclaimed to her friend but never left her side as she looked around the room. But all she saw was icky boys. "Any winners?"_

" _I like the sound of Blair Bass. Double B. Its cute like a bumblebee," Blair gushed. Her grandad sometimes called her bumblebee and she enjoyed the comparison._

" _Are you going to tell him?" Serena asked seriously since Blair had just decided on a husband and whatever Blair wanted she got. So she figured Chuck should at least know who his wife would be._

" _No. No. there is no need. He will be my husband. Blair Bass sounds regal, important. Plus, I can feel it in my bones," the young brunette explained as she imagined her new initials. Like the B on her pillowcases that were stitched in a pretty cursive she envisioned two cursive Bs curved around each other. It was perfect._

" _Eww are your bones moving?" the blonde grasped as she held on to her elbows afraid they would move._

" _No," the young girl said rolling her eyes at her friend. "it is something Dorota says when she knows something I going to happen like this. This is destiny. Chuck Bass is my destiny. I know it."_

 **It's not exactly love at first sight. It's more like soul recognition- Lynette Simeone**

* * *

All done with the story. Yay. As I mentioned earlier the original ending was quite different. I was going to have Blair take a brief break for a moment and fly off to Paris to figure out if she was ready for love. There was going to be some problems with LoVECHrome as a business and have Dan and Vanessa be the catalyst that makes Blair finally go back to Chuck. With that Blair would come back to him. But then I decided that they did not need so much time apart since they already suffered enough. So I decided to let this chapter be about them getting back together and healing instead. I hoped you enjoyed it.


	9. Jaded Sapphire

A.N I really want to thank everyone for sticking with this story. I really just wanted to examine the idea of world in which people were told who to love in the most clinical possible way. Would there be romance left in a world like that? Depending on the day I would say yes but sometimes I really thought it would be impossible for romance to exist in such a world. Then I thought what if you were told who your true love was but weren't actually ready. Somehow by the end of this thought process I ended up with LoVECHrome.

I really want to thank all the reviewers. So many of you were guest reviewers but I want to thank each of you equally. Really when I forgot about posting or had no written in a while it really are the reviews that pull me back in. So thank you to the all guest reviewers, Alisha, summerrain583, snugg, PureJadore, pettycharlie, iAlliegator (for the best questions which make me think more about my characters), musicbean2 and many others for reviews throughout chapters.

* * *

It was six months after my discovery of Chuck being my soulmate. All together we been back together for about nine months. Now with all our secrets out in the open and with no fear that neither of us were going to be up and leaving any time soon I was blissfully happy. Serena and I often joked over who was enjoying their honeymoon period more. She thought she was winning because she was actually married but her ten-year relationship made her disqualified in my mind. Even still everything seemed to be going well for both of us. Serena and Nate were even talking about babies.

I thought everything was well but I was surprised to discover there was still pain and hurt etched into Chuck's mind. I was coming in late after work completely tired. It was one of those days in which there I absolutely no time to even eat throughout the day. It was close to eight when I got home and my feet were killing me. It was the wrong day to break in new shoes. I came into the penthouse taking my shoes off when I entered walking to the bedroom bare foot. I had not realized Chuck was home and I walked into our shared closet when I saw him there on my mind holding the sapphire blue necklace in his hand. He looked pained and suddenly surprised when he saw me. He quickly placed the necklace on the top of my dresser.

"Hey looks like you had a rough day," he said with sympathy.

"Yes was a long one. Are you okay?" I asked concerned.

"Fine. I just had a long day too," he said walking closer to me. Leaning in for a kiss as he rubbed my shoulder.

"Ahhh. Not a good day for heels?" he asked with a smirk as he grabbed the shoes and placed them back into their right location. One thing about Chuck he valued keeping an orderly closet as much as I did.

"No my feet hurt," I pouted him in my direct way of asking if he would rub my feet. He chuckled slightly.

"would you like me to massage your feet?" he asked. I smiled kissing him as I said yes.

"Maybe I can draw us a bath later," he said as he held my hand and walked with me over to back to our bed.

Sitting next to me at on the bed he pulled my feet up to be placed on his lap. He began to massage my feet. He was quiet as he worked and I watched him puzzled over why he was looking at that necklace. Did it remind him of me, I wondered? No I never even wore the necklace I believe that my great aunt gave me. I realize it was representative of his weakest moment. I wondered how many days he sat staring at that necklace feeling anger and resentment at himself. I wanted to hold him and reach out to him to soothe those dark memories.

"did you eat love?" he asked.

"No I am staving," I admitted.

"I will put your bath on and then order your favorite Indian takeout," he suggested.

"No I want you in the bath with me," I said with the pout I knew he loved.

He pulled my calves forward pulling me closer to him to kiss me.

"I love you," I told him once we separated.

"I love you too," he said but I could tell there was something lurking in there with him. A part I never really understand but I still loved all of him.

* * *

 _The very elusive Chuck POV_

I was on my way back to the apartment and I was hopeful that Blair would be home. She went out shopping and I had met Eric for drinks as we talked. He was asking advice on how to live with your partner. I took my role as his brother and I tried to be helpful but I knew he and Jon were going to be okay. There was definitely a learning curve when it comes to cohabiting with someone. There was no doubt in my mind that they were made for each other whether or not they ever love matched.

I came into the apartment and instantly across the open floor plan spotted Blair in the kitchen. She was singing along to Islands in the Stream as she baked cookies. One thing I learned about Blair from living with her for almost ten months was she only baked when she was worried about something. So far that has only occurred twice so many this was a happy bake. I was hopeful. But I knew recently she was worried about her job as she pushed for the new male line at the design companies.

Circling my arm around her when I reached her she giggled as I kissed her neck but shimmied out of my grasp as she began to drop cookies onto the sheet. Her lack of eye contact with me told me she was for sure worried about something.

"Love, you okay?" I asked placing a hand on the small of her back.

She said nothing as she then moved away to pop the cookies in the oven.

"I did something. Something maybe bad," she mumbled still looking away. My heart was beating as I instantly assumed the worse. Did she cheat on me? Was that what all those late nights were about? When Nate came to stay with me after Serena had cheated it proved to me that just because you are soulmates it does not mean people do not fuck up.

"Blair?" my voice sounded weaker than I wanted to. She looked at me finally understanding I was thinking the worse things.

"I want it to be a good thing but I don't know if you are going to think it is," she said as she rubbed my upper arm. Now I was still just as lost hanging on to her words.

"What is it?" I asked annoyed that she was talking around the subject. Even still I knew how bad we both were at talking about our feelings. Instead being both perceptive we often relied on reading body language or our knowledge of each other.

"Remember a few weeks ago when you were looking at that necklace," she began and I nodded. I was having a long day and I was suddenly felt anxious. Blair was not at home when I got there a sense of lonesomeness and need crept it. The feelings were the same as those that I often felt when I was younger in need of some comfort that made me turn to the poison that pumped into my blood.

"I realize then that necklace used to represent your darkness moments and you probably felt shame when you did. I think you punish yourself with your past mistakes and whenever you feel too happy or too good you try to ground yourself with your misdeeds," she said carefully.

I opened my mouth to speak but the words did not come. I just nodded feeling that shame well back up inside of me. At the same time there was a sense of relief that came with Blair understanding me so well. I wondered if everyone had this? This bond we shared that moved past words in a space in which we were so interconnected.

"Chuck it is okay to remember the past and use that wisdom to guide us but I don't want you dwelling there. It is a dark place so I always want you to remember the good moments too. For me looking back at your drug addiction is painful but it also makes me stop sometimes and look at you in awe for all that you have accomplished by yourself. When you want to look back please look back with me rather than at that ugly necklace. I want us to do this together. So when you tell me that needles make you uncomfortable still I will remind you of the mint ice creams we shared, when you tell me that you are sad because one of the kids at your school died of an overdose I will remind that you are still here alive with me, when you think about how you wanted to kill yourself I will remind you all that you have to live for, if you ever think about your first hit I will be there to remind you how it felt when we first kiss and god forbid if you ever sub come to those urges again I will be there to hold your hand and pull you back you back out," she said as tears began to collect in her eyes. I felt them prick at mine.

Grabbing hold of her I hugged her tightly to me hoping that my actions expressed my love I felt for her. I was so amazed at her strength, her beauty, and her grace. My life was in her hands, the sun and moon rose with her eyes, and my breath did not start until she loved me. Side by side together the world never seemed that big.

"God, Blair I love you so much. There are no words Blair." I began to kiss her not with need but with love. Gently I caressed her face hoping my lack of word could express how much her meant to me. "You are the light in my life," I mumbled to her as I kissed her lips.

"Wait, Chuck I am not done." She said. She opened a draw to pull out a very small jewelry case that would normally hold earrings.

I opened them to find sapphire square cuff-links with diamonds on each corner. I smiled and she explained "this what I was worried about. I kinda had that necklace destroyed. Sometimes you need to reshape something ugly to make it beautiful again. I made matching earrings with the rest of the stones," she said tucking her hair behind her ear. He had larger square earring with diamonds in four corners as well. "Because we are in this together Chuck."

"You really do steal my breath at times," I told her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed her favorite spot on my jaw.

"Yea well that makes us even because you keep stealing or breaking my lingerie," she teased making me laugh and allowing the seriousness of the moment to lapse. We were never too good at staying serious for long. "I love your laugh," she whispered as she traced my smile with her fingers.

* * *

There in that moment it was just them. Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. Jaded and with scars holding each other as they slowly mended their wounds. There was no talk of soulmates, or love matches or even tomorrow. It was just two people so in love for so long stopping for a moment and just enjoying being with each other.

Even still there was nothing certain in life even once you found your partner. Tough times awaited them as well as happy moments. Standing there in that kitchen Blair had no idea that in a week Chuck would get one knee before asking her to spend their lives together. They shocked all their friends and family when they planned a wedding only two weeks later desperate to belong to each other completely and fully. Through the dark days and the light days, they stood side by side for the rest of their lives guiding each other as they went.

* * *

A.N: With that it is over.I hoped this ending was enjoyable and the day to day of love in the end showed how little it mattered the way they were able to get back together. Rather, the most important thing was whether or they could support, respect, communicate, and love each other through good and bad.

I have a new story out for **For Love or Money** if you are interested which is more of a political soap dramay story. It is going to be dramatic and filled with Gossip Girl cliches like people randomly running into each other in a city filled with millions, jetting off to France (seriously there are hundreds of other countries it was always France for them),(un)believable wacky situations, whose my mama drama, what can you buy with millions today, how many husbands can Lily have questions, how scary powerful is Nate's grandfather, and maybe even a murder. Of course a Chair fic. All cynical sarcasm on pause I really like the concept. I wanted to do a Blair/Chuck fic for a while that had Chuck be older than Blair. Not like a bunch older but older enough so Chuck is more mature than he would be when they were the same age. Also I wanted to write him as the jerky older brother who falls in love with his sister's best friend (a classic teen genre movie). I am writing in third person which I haven't done a whole multi-fic in. I am super uncomfortable writing in third-person but I wanted to challenge myself so read it just to help critique me if you wish.


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